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00:11Castle Ducula, home for many centuries to a dreadful dynasty of vicious vampire ducks,
00:20the Counts of Ducula. Legend has it that these foul beings can be destroyed by a stake through
00:27the heart or exposure to sunlight. This does not suffice, however, for they may be brought back to
00:33life by means of a secret rite that can be performed once a century when the moon is in the
00:40eighth house of
00:41Aquarius. Blood. The latest reincarnation did not run according to plan.
00:59He won't bite beast of man, cause he's a vegetarian, and things never been planned for.
01:07Ducula. If you're looking for some fun, you can always count upon, so worry about what they call
01:15Ducula. Count Ducula.
01:26Once more, we take you to the hostile peaks of Transylvania. Once more, we bring you to visit
01:33the despicable denisms of that ghastly castle. Once more. Oh, they're all out. Gone to fair back before sunset.
01:48Having an evil time.
01:52Oh, missed again. Oh, well, never mind. Where's Nanny Igor?
01:57On the helter-skelter, sir. Oh, dear.
02:02Duc-e-boos. Oh, I fear the worst, sir.
02:06Duc-e-boos. Oh, well, we don't see the point of that. Oh, come on, Nanny. Look, the dodgems.
02:20Oh, Mr. Igor, let me drive. Go on.
02:26No fear, Nanny. Oh, go on here. Give me the wheel.
02:31Oh, goodness. Oh, no, Nanny. No, no, no.
02:35No, no, no.
02:38Now, look what you've done. Just let me...
02:41Do I press this? Hello, Mr. Igor.
02:50Nice to see you enjoying yourself, Igor.
02:53Oh, watch out for Nanny, sir.
02:59This is so undignified.
03:02Come on, Igor. You're missing the fun.
03:05Oh, very well, sir, if I must.
03:11I was getting bored with that anyway.
03:15What's next?
03:15Roll up. Roll up. This way for the rollercoaster ride of a lifetime.
03:21Roll up. Roll up.
03:24Listen to that. A rollercoaster ride.
03:27Hoo-wee. We must have a go on that, Igor.
03:30I think I'd rather have my head removed from my body, sir.
03:34That's the trouble with you, Igor.
03:36It's always south, south, south.
03:38But why don't you think of others for a change?
03:42Now, if I say we go on the rollercoaster, we go on the rollercoaster.
03:45You too, Nanny.
03:47Oh, no. I think I'll stay here and watch Mr. Igor take his head off.
03:53Now, look. I don't want to pull rank.
03:57But if you're not over by that rollercoaster in two seconds,
04:03I'll stand here and I'll sing.
04:09I'm employing a couple of Philistines.
04:12Philistine? Isn't that Gertrude's sister?
04:15Roll up. Roll up this way for the rollercoaster of time.
04:19The experience of a lifetime.
04:22Be the envy of your friends as you travel back and forward in time.
04:28Cheese sandwiches and tea available at reasonable prices.
04:31That sounds fabulous, doesn't it, Nanny?
04:34Oh, I don't get on with cheese.
04:36It comes out in a rush.
04:38No, no. I mean the ride. The ride.
04:41Uh, Igor, go and ask how much it is.
04:44My master, the Count Dracula, would like to purchase tickets for your roller ride.
04:50How much would that be?
04:51For the Count, huh? Well, let me see.
04:54Uh, what have you got on you?
04:58A horsehair noose, a chocolate-covered skull, some teeth, homemade rat cake, and a dagger of bloodstain, of course.
05:10In that case, you're gonna need some change.
05:12Two werewolf fangs and a half-eaten copy of Undertaker's Weekly.
05:17This way, then.
05:19No time to waste.
05:21Time waits for no man.
05:23Time, like the gypsy, will not stand still.
05:26Time, gentlemen, please.
05:28And so on and so forth.
05:30Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
05:32This is your super captain speaking.
05:35Welcome aboard roller coaster number one for our little trip.
05:40Our cruising altitude is a mystery to me.
05:43Our speed will be quite fast.
05:46And our destination is none of your business.
05:49Oh, dear.
05:50Oh.
05:51Oh, dear.
05:53Oh.
05:54Oh.
05:55Nanny, will you keep still?
05:57Well, I can't help it, Ducky-boos.
05:59This seat's all lumpy.
06:02You'll get lumpy, too, you will set on my great fat head.
06:08Igor, come out of there.
06:10This is no time for games.
06:13Oh.
06:13Now, then.
06:15No.
06:16No.
06:17No, Nanny.
06:18Prepare for blast-off.
06:20Eight.
06:21Seven.
06:22Six.
06:24Five.
06:25Four.
06:26Three.
06:27Two.
06:29One.
06:30Lift off.
06:37Now, this is what I call traveling.
06:40When do we get where we're going to, Dr. Time?
06:44Oh, just as soon as I find the break.
06:46You mean you've come out without a break?
06:48No, no.
06:49It's here somewhere.
06:50There.
06:50I put it in a cardboard box to keep it safe.
06:52Oh.
06:53Here it is, Mr. Time.
06:56Oh, please.
06:57Don't call me mister.
06:58I'm a doctor.
06:59Oh, a doctor.
07:00Could you look at my feet, then?
07:03Because they're not all they should be.
07:05Oh, certainly.
07:07Open wide and say aw.
07:08Oh, no.
07:10It's not my throat that hurts.
07:12It's my feet.
07:14Well, in that case, get your feet to say aw.
07:17Hey, Sviatoslav, that reminds me.
07:19I went to see the doctor last week.
07:21You did, Dimitri.
07:22What was wrong?
07:23Oh, I had this strange feeling that I didn't exist.
07:26Oh, really?
07:27And what...
07:28Dimitri?
07:29Where have you...
07:30I have the strangest feeling I know someone called Dimitri.
07:35Yes, me, you silly bat.
07:39Ooh.
07:39Ow.
07:41Ooh.
07:41Ooh.
07:42Ooh, I...
07:43I feels much better now.
07:45Thank you, doctor.
07:47Oh, you can call me pizzackily, my dear.
07:50Ooh.
07:52You naughty doctor, you.
07:54Look, I hate to break up this little beak to beak, but we seem to be going nowhere very fast.
08:01Oh, have no fear.
08:02Time is on our side.
08:05Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
08:08Oh, look.
08:10Ooh.
08:11Ooh.
08:15Ooh.
08:16Ooh.
08:17Kabam.
08:19Oh, good.
08:21The beach.
08:22Ooh.
08:23You know, I haven't been to the seaside in years.
08:26There doesn't seem to be any seas, eh?
08:28Well, the tide's probably out, Igor.
08:30What do you think, doctor?
08:32Well, if it is out, it'll take some time to come back in again.
08:35Ha, ha.
08:35This is prehistoric Earth.
08:37A million years before you were born.
08:39A million years?
08:41Ooh.
08:42I left the dinner in the oven.
08:44It'll be ruined.
08:46That's nothing new.
08:47Look, Nanny, there's no need to get pre-hysterical.
08:50We'll get back, won't we, doctor?
08:53Not if I have anything to do with it.
08:56What was that?
08:57Is that your stomach playing up again, Igor?
08:59Uh-huh.
09:03Uh-huh.
09:04Uh-huh.
09:06Uh-huh.
09:06Uh-huh.
09:07Uh-huh.
09:07Just, uh-huh.
09:09You can't have just, uh-huh.
09:12It doesn't make sense.
09:14Look, I'm the world's first vampire.
09:17All I know is, uh-huh.
09:19How do I know what makes sense?
09:22Oh, I was wondering why sir is out in the middle of the day.
09:25Uh-uh.
09:26Middle of the...
09:28Is that wrong?
09:29Oh, completely, sir.
09:31You should only come out at night.
09:32Night.
09:34Night.
09:35That's the dark bit, isn't it?
09:37Oh, I-I-I-I couldn't do that.
09:40You can't see a thing at night.
09:42Oh, I suppose they haven't invented streetlights yet.
09:45Have you tried sinking your teeth into something yet, sir?
09:49Oh, yes.
09:50I-I-I tried that for the first time this morning.
09:55Oh, everything went well, I trust, sir.
09:58The maiden was very tasty.
10:00The maiden?
10:01Oh, so that's what they called it, are they?
10:04Well, no, it wasn't very tasty, now you come to mention it.
10:08It got very angry.
10:10It's been chasing me all day.
10:12It...
10:12Oh.
10:13In fact, here comes that maiden again.
10:17Whoa!
10:19Whoa!
10:20Wow!
10:20Wowie wow!
10:21Now that's what I call a healthy-sized mate.
10:24Quick, sir, we must get away.
10:26Oh!
10:26Oh!
10:27Oh, don't worry, my dear.
10:29I'll protect you.
10:31Step back into the roller coaster.
10:33Oh!
10:34I can see you're a doctor.
10:36You've got such nice hands.
10:39He'll be lucky if he has a nice anything if that thing catches up with us, Nanny.
10:43Come on, Doc.
10:44Let's get out of here.
10:50Oh!
10:51Phew!
10:52Well, there's one thing to be said for time travel, Igor.
10:56It's got rid of your wrinkles.
10:58Or at least it's pushed them round the back where no one can see them.
11:01Please, sir.
11:02Now, let's see if we're all here.
11:03Igor.
11:04Yes, you're here.
11:05The Doc.
11:06Me.
11:07Yes, I'm here.
11:08And Nanny.
11:10Uh...
11:10Nanny?
11:11Oh!
11:12I've engaged to a medical man.
11:17Oh, my mum will be pleased.
11:19She always wanted me to marry a doctor.
11:22What?
11:22Um, engaged?
11:22Engaged?
11:22What do you mean, engaged?
11:24To be married.
11:25Igor!
11:26Igor!
11:27Nanny's engaged.
11:28Odd.
11:29She's always seemed vacant to me, sir.
11:31Hmm?
11:32When did this happen?
11:33Oh!
11:34A minute ago.
11:36The doctor has just proposed.
11:40But, Nanny, think of the problems.
11:41The expense of the reception.
11:44The amount of people we'll have to invite.
11:46Excuse me, sir.
11:47What is it, Igor?
11:48I'd like to point out, sir, that we're being watched by a potato.
11:52A potato?
11:53Well, he won't get an invitation.
11:55Unless he's a close friend of the bride, of course.
11:57Excuse me.
11:58Did you say the potato, Igor?
11:59Yes, sir.
12:00A giant potato with rather a nasty look on its face.
12:04Well, even potatoes have their bad days, Igor.
12:06Hm.
12:07Hello there, potato.
12:09Don't be afraid.
12:11I won't eat you.
12:13Eat?
12:13That's it, Igor.
12:15They know I'm a vegetarian.
12:16Who is it that trespasses on our land?
12:21Uh...
12:22We're, uh...
12:23We're pacifists.
12:25And we're vege-vege-vege-vege-vege-vege-vege-vegetables friends.
12:29You are strangers.
12:30Not unlike those from the old times before sanity took over and the vegetables began to roll.
12:37Vegetables?
12:37Vegetables in power?
12:39Hey, where are we, Doctor?
12:41Or, when are we, Doctor?
12:42Oh, it's about 40-08.
12:44If my memory serves me right, an artichoke has just been made president of the United States of America.
12:51And two turnips have just landed on Venus.
12:54Whew.
12:54Just think, a turnip on Venus.
12:56Well, that's a small step for a vegetable, but a giant leap for an Irish Jew.
13:00I have read in the ancient manuscripts of such as you.
13:03You who squeezed us carrots in our vital juices.
13:07And smothered us sweet corn in butter.
13:10And shelled us and peeled us.
13:13And simmered us lightly for two and a half many...
13:18Fruits as a lie!
13:20...finally chopped us.
13:22No! Stop! Stop! Especially you! You bring tears to my eyes!
13:26Made us into soup to you.
13:29Challenge!
13:30I'm...
13:31Ooh!
13:32Spray that again!
13:33No, I never!
13:35I don't like cucumber!
13:36So?
13:37You admit to all the other crimes?
13:40Yeah, yeah!
13:41No!
13:42No!
13:42I...
13:43Oh!
13:45No!
13:46I mean...
13:47I meant no harm!
13:48You're making a ridiculous mistake.
13:50My master is none other than Count Duckula, last in a long line of vampire ducks.
13:56Who ever heard of a vegetarian vampire?
13:59Vampire!
14:00Garlic!
14:01Forward!
14:02Oh, no!
14:03Run for it, master!
14:04Run!
14:04Yes!
14:05Yeah!
14:05Oh!
14:06Where?
14:06Where's Nanny?
14:07Back on the rollercoaster with Dr. Time!
14:10Same, same!
14:13Serve them up with butter and a little black pepper.
14:16Oh!
14:18Oh!
14:19Doctor!
14:19Where's my ducky booze?
14:22Well, with any luck, he's roasting nicely at 250 degrees centigrade!
14:26Oh!
14:27You fiend!
14:29You monster!
14:30I hate you!
14:32I could never marry anyone who had my lovely ducky!
14:38He was kind and generous and brave and strong!
14:43All the things you're not!
14:45You know, Igor, I think she means it!
14:48It's a shame she didn't say anything about me, sir.
14:50Oh!
14:51I liked you too, Mr. Igor!
14:53Oh!
14:54Mr. Igor, you're safe!
14:56Oh!
14:57And my little duck!
14:59So, you would spurn me, would you, my little one-armed chicken?
15:03Well, I shall wreak my revenge on you all!
15:07Let's see now...
15:111789!
15:12Ha!
15:13The French Revolution!
15:14Prepare to meet your doom, Count Ducula!
15:18Ha!
15:19Ha!
15:28Aristos!
15:29Aristos!
15:30I have caught some Aristos!
15:31Who is it that is making all this noise in the middle of the rue?
15:35It is I, Dr. Fazekoli Danton-Ton, and this is Count Ducula!
15:41I have captured these Aristos for you to do it as you will!
15:45Take them away and clap them in irons!
15:49This is the last straw!
15:54Bad luck, Doc!
15:55You weren't to know they were arresting everybody in funny outfits as well this week!
16:00If only I'd known, I would have worn the pinstripe with a black jacket!
16:04So, this is the French Revolution!
16:08Not one of the most hygienic, is it?
16:14What is that smell, Dimitri?
16:16It's the peasants, Sviatoslav.
16:20They're revolting!
16:22No!
16:23So is that joke, Dimitri!
16:25Ah!
16:26You have to revive my body, sir!
16:30There's only one thing for it!
16:32We're going to have to escape!
16:34Huh!
16:35Wait a minute!
16:36I know!
16:36I know!
16:37Listen!
16:37When the guard comes in with our dinner, let him have it!
16:41Oh!
16:42But what are we going to eat?
16:44No!
16:44I mean, let him have it on the head with something heavy, Nanny!
16:50Something heavy, hard and horrible!
16:53One of your souffles would have been ideal, Nanny!
16:56Shame you don't have one on you!
16:57What do you mean?
16:59I always carry the souffle!
17:01In case of emergencies!
17:06Ah!
17:07That's just great, Nanny!
17:09Let's hope we can lift it!
17:11Come on, Doc, we'll need your help!
17:13Everyone behind the door!
17:18Now, Nanny!
17:19Nanny, you attract the guard with your feminine wiles!
17:24I've got my book on engine maintenance!
17:26Do you think he'd like that?
17:28Well, it's not exactly what I meant, but it'll have to do!
17:34All right, you filthy rat-fing-calistos!
17:37On your foots!
17:41By order of the people's revolution, all those in here who are aristos, or wearing the funny
17:48clothes, are to be taken from here to have their heads removed from their bodies!
17:53Here!
17:54Look what you've done to my ducky-boos, you revolting person, you!
17:59Come on, my duck, it's all right!
18:03Nanny's here!
18:04You'll be all right now!
18:06Hello!
18:08Hello, pretty lady!
18:11I'm a clown floating in the sky!
18:16Oh dear, it's worse than I thought!
18:20Whatever, can I...
18:23Oh, yes!
18:27What's that?
18:28Is it bath time already?
18:30Come on, my lord, the door's open, we must escape!
18:32Then, my precious, you and I will be together!
18:35Oh, you lay one finger on me, you nasty doctor, you!
18:39And I'll use my...
18:41My feminine wiles on you!
18:43I think what Nanny means, sir, is that she will bash you with her bad arm if you don't
18:47watch it.
18:48Listen, this is no time for argument!
18:49You're quite right, I'm not!
18:51Hmm, I'm not sure I understand that either.
18:56Come on, everyone, forward to freedom!
19:03Oh, sir, perhaps we could stay after all.
19:06See, they're only having some innocent fun.
19:09You call chopping people's heads a fun, Igor?
19:12Perhaps you're right, sir.
19:14Sewing the wrong one back on is funnier.
19:19Quick, quick, the Aristotle's, they have escaped!
19:22Oh, no, we've been spotted!
19:23Oh, worry, ducky-boos, I can get it off with a bit of bleach!
19:27Doesn't get any better, sir, does she?
19:28No.
19:29I think all the excitement's confused her, Igor.
19:32There they are!
19:33After them!
19:33Run for it!
19:43Oh, father, I'm under running.
19:46We've arrived five minutes before we left!
19:48Oh, whew!
19:49That was some dodge-em ride, wasn't it, Igor?
19:52I think so.
19:54We were on the dodge-ems, weren't we, Igor?
19:57I'm not exactly sure.
19:58No, no, I feel sort of dizzy.
20:01My mind's a blank.
20:03Oh, you're back to normal then, Nanny.
20:05Roll up!
20:07Roll up!
20:08This way!
20:08For the roller-coaster ride of your life!
20:11Roll up!
20:12Roll up!
20:13Whee!
20:14Listen to that!
20:15A roller-coaster ride!
20:16We must have a go on that, Igor.
20:18I think I'd rather have my head removed from my body, sir.
20:21That's the trouble with you, Igor.
20:23It's always south, south, south.
20:26But why don't you think of others for a change?
20:29Now, if I say we go on the roller-coaster, we go on the roller-coaster.
20:32You too, Nanny.
20:34Oh, no.
20:35I think I'll stay here and watch Mr. Igor take his head off.
20:40Now, look.
20:41I don't want to pull rank.
20:44But if you're not over by that roller-coaster in two seconds, I'll stand here and I'll say...
20:56You know, I may be dim, but I've got a feeling we've been through all this before.
21:03So, once again, we say goodbye to the feathered prince of evil, wherever he may be.
21:11Good night out there.
21:13Whenever you are.
21:21Documan.
21:22If you are feeling...
21:23or you kind of...
21:25Ooh, ah.
21:26Cuff me, your man up with...
21:28Documan.
21:30If your knees go...
21:31and your teeth go...
21:34Maybe you bump into...
21:36Documan.
21:37He flies through the night
21:39Looking for a bite
21:41But he's back home by daylight
21:44Docula
21:45I'm kicking
21:47If you sort of
21:49You're a little
21:50It's certain you run into
21:53Docula
21:54If your heart goes
21:57Or your mind goes
21:59Man you had a rush with
22:01Docula
22:03So watch out for the
22:05Beware of the
22:07You'll never meet with
22:09Docula
22:10Count Docula
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