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00:00The third month, my family's kept me locked in the psych ward.
00:03Electrodes on my temples.
00:05Restraints cutting into my wrists.
00:07I'd lost count of how many shocks the doctor had given me.
00:10Please! Please! No, it's hurt!
00:12I'll be good!
00:14I promise! Stop!
00:16I struggled, I begged, but the doctor didn't even look up.
00:19The nurse pushed the door open, expressionless.
00:21I watched her white shoes come closer.
00:23Her family says, up the dose.
00:26The current hit.
00:27My body arched, then went limp.
00:30The last thing I saw was the white fluorescent light
00:32and the little red dot on the security camera blinking on and off.
00:36The line on the heart monitor went flat.
00:38I died.
00:39When I opened my eyes, I was standing in an old pawn shop.
00:42I looked down at my hands.
00:44Translucent.
00:45Welcome.
00:46A voice.
00:47Behind the counter, I looked up.
00:48A man, 30 maybe.
00:50His eyes were pale gray like glass with no heat in it.
00:53The soul shop.
00:55The place where you get what you want most.
00:58He looked up at me.
01:00And what do you want?
01:01What do I want?
01:03I mumbled and clenched my fists.
01:06My nails dug into my palms, but I couldn't feel the pain anymore.
01:10I want to live again.
01:12He set the cloth down.
01:14It won't be cheap.
01:15Pulled out a sheet of parchment from beneath the counter, slid it across to me.
01:20To live again, you trade something of equal value.
01:23Do you know what's worth the most about you?
01:27No.
01:28Your ability to love.
01:30I froze.
01:32He looked at me with those pale gray eyes, voice slow.
01:35You see, people like you are rare.
01:38You loved your parents.
01:39Loved your brother.
01:41Loved your fiancé.
01:42You even loved the sister who took everything from you.
01:44Stepped on.
01:45Spit on.
01:46And you kept handing them your heart.
01:48Over and over.
01:50You're mocking me.
01:52I'm doing business.
01:53He tapped the parchment with one fingertip.
01:55Terms.
01:56You surrender your ability to love.
01:58I give you one more life.
02:00Starting the day you turned 12.
02:01The day they brought your sister home.
02:04Why that day?
02:05For the first time, something flickered in his face.
02:07Almost interest.
02:08Because that's where your story went wrong.
02:10I was quiet for a long time.
02:12Then I looked up.
02:14Deal.
02:15I lifted my hand, pressed it to the parchment.
02:18A gold light bloomed where my fingerprint landed.
02:20He took the contract back.
02:21Gave me the smallest nod.
02:23I snapped.
02:23May this life.
02:25Find yourself.
02:26He snapped his fingers.
02:28The world began to fall apart.
02:30Shards of light drifted down like snow.
02:33White light swallowed everything.
02:35Anya, what are you spacing out for?
02:38Our new sister's almost here.
02:39Let's go down and meet her.
02:41Hearing that name again froze me for a second.
02:43My eyes snapped open.
02:45I hadn't been called Anya in six, seven years.
02:47I turned and looked at my twin brother, Cole, next to me.
02:50Sure enough, he'd reverted to his 12-year-old self.
02:54A half-grown boy in a perfectly tailored suit, eyes bright with anticipation.
02:58One of his hands was holding my hand.
03:00I looked down at his slim, clean fingers.
03:03In my head, I saw the handprint it had left on my face when we were older.
03:06I frowned, yanked my arm free.
03:08Cole looked at me, confused.
03:10Anya, what's wrong?
03:12The front door opened.
03:13My parents' voices floated up.
03:15Cole!
03:16Anya, come down!
03:17We brought your sister home!
03:20Cole's eyes lit up.
03:21He dropped me and ran down the stairs alone.
03:22I stood at the top and watched the four of them downstairs.
03:26One big, happy family.
03:28I pressed a hand to my chest.
03:30Strange.
03:31My heart was still beating, calmly.
03:33But the knife-edged pain as before, it was totally gone.
03:37Cole and I are twins.
03:38For the first 12 years of our lives, my parents only had the two of us.
03:42Cole was older by two hours.
03:43He and our parents spoiled me into a real deal little princess.
03:47Someone joked to my father once,
03:49With a temper like your daughter's,
03:51Thank God she's engaged to Felix already,
03:53Or no one would dare marry her.
03:55My father's face went black.
03:57My daughter wasn't born to be married off.
03:59She can stay home for life.
04:01I can afford her.
04:03My mother and Cole didn't say a word.
04:04They just kept showering me with more nice things.
04:07A $3 million bracelet was an ordinary birthday gift back then.
04:11But it was also the last birthday gift I would ever get.
04:13The year I turned 12, an old friend of my father's died of illness.
04:17On his deathbed, he asked my father to take in his only daughter, Olivia.
04:22And after her coming, my family's love, trust, attention, all of it, drifted away from me a little at a
04:27time.
04:28But I still treated her like my own sister before my 18th birthday.
04:31I loved her until the moment I saw her kissing my fiancé Felix in the garden.
04:38I snapped.
04:40Why are you doing this to me?
04:42Do you even see what you're like right now?
04:45You're a lunaturk.
04:47Cole's eyes were full of revulsion.
04:49My parents said nothing.
04:50They watched, like everyone else.
04:52The pain in my chest had me shaking head to toe.
04:54I went at Olivia with a knife, but Cole kicked me into a thicket of thorns.
04:58Every single person there crowded around Olivia, trying to calm her down, begging her not to cry.
05:03Nobody cared that what I'd had in my hand was just a plastic knife from the cake.
05:07My parents had me committed, said I was mentally ill.
05:10Cole's kick did real damage.
05:12I was coughing up blood day and night.
05:14I begged the doctor over and over to call my parents.
05:17Not a single call got answered.
05:19Then, after another round of electroshock, I stopped breathing.
05:22That was when I saw it.
05:24The soul shock.
05:25The one in the rumors.
05:26I traded everything I had to love with for one more chance.
05:29This time, no one gets to hurt me.
05:31Aina!
05:32Sweetheart, come on!
05:33You've been waiting for a little sister, haven't you?
05:35My mother holding Olivia's hand, smiling, waving me down.
05:38Olivia tipped up her clean little face and called me sister.
05:41I didn't react.
05:42I turned and walked back into my room.
05:44Left the four of them looking at each other in the living room.
05:47My father, confused.
05:49What's gotten into her now?
05:50Who upset her?
05:51My mother's voice went thin.
05:54Maybe she just needs a minute to get used to having a younger sister.
05:58It's fine.
05:59I'll go talk to her in a bit.
06:00Olivia's voice cracked.
06:02Mom, Dad, does my sister not like me?
06:05Maybe I should leave.
06:08Before my parents could say anything, Cole jumped in.
06:11Anya's just a little hot-tentured.
06:13Don't be sad.
06:14I'll go tell her off in a minute.
06:16Cole's so grown up.
06:17You take good care of your sister, okay?
06:19Their laughter floated up through the floor.
06:22I stood up and started going through my things.
06:24Too much time had passed.
06:25I couldn't remember everything 12-year-old me owned.
06:28A closer look.
06:29I was almost embarrassingly rich.
06:31No wonder Olivia loved taking my things.
06:33I scooped the jewelry off the vanity and dumped it into my backpack.
06:36I picked up the bracelet and remembered the time she'd smashed it.
06:39That was the first time I'd slapped Olivia.
06:42She'd hidden behind the door with her eyes red, voice tiny,
06:44like I was the one who'd broken her favorite thing.
06:47Sister, I'm sorry.
06:49I really didn't mean to.
06:51I just wanted to look at it.
06:53It slipped.
06:54Then she'd burst into tears.
06:55My parents came running.
06:56Cole came running.
06:58She had wrapped herself around my mother's leg,
07:00sobbing like she was going to pass out.
07:02But the moment no one was watching,
07:04she looked up at me and smirked.
07:05I pointed at her, trying to tell them truth.
07:07Anna!
07:08How can you be cruel to her?
07:10It's just a bracelet.
07:11You couldn't have let her have it?
07:12Just a bracelet?
07:15That bracelet was the gift Cole had bought me
07:17with the prize money from his first IT competition,
07:19and he'd forgotten.
07:22By the time I'd packed up everything,
07:23there was a soft knock on my door.
07:25My mother, voice soft, almost too patient.
07:27Anya?
07:29Sweetheart?
07:29Come out.
07:30Dinner's ready.
07:31I didn't answer.
07:32I just opened the door
07:33and let her walk me down to the dining room.
07:35My usual seat had Olivia in it.
07:37My father and Cole were both putting food on her plates.
07:40I turned to my mother.
07:41Should I eat on the floor?
07:43Every head snapped up.
07:45My mother's grip on my hand tightened.
07:47Of course not.
07:48My fault.
07:49I forgot to have them bring you a chair.
07:51Anna, please get Anya a chair.
07:52Olivia stood up,
07:53her wide, innocent eyes filling instantly.
07:55Sister, I'm sorry.
07:56I didn't know this was your seat.
07:58Here, take it.
07:59Cole jumped up and pushed her back into the chair,
08:01shooting me a hard look.
08:03Anna, it doesn't matter where you sit.
08:05Olivia just got here.
08:07Don't scare her.
08:08My parents said nothing.
08:09They were watching me.
08:10So this was tacit approval.
08:12I took the chair from the housekeeper
08:13and dragged it to the far end of the table,
08:15away from all of them.
08:17Cole's hands stalled midair over Olivia's plate.
08:19He opened his mouth a few times,
08:21closed it.
08:22We finished dinner in that strange, frozen quiet.
08:25As I stood up to head back upstairs,
08:27my father called after me.
08:28He cleared his throat,
08:29tried to smile.
08:30Anya,
08:31Olivia just lost her parents.
08:33We're her family now.
08:35We should take care of her.
08:36My mother chimed in.
08:38Yeah, mom knows.
08:39You probably aren't used to having a sister yet.
08:42But look at her.
08:43She's so sweet.
08:44Try to spend time with her.
08:46You'll grow close.
08:47My voice came out flat.
08:49And?
08:50My mother froze.
08:51Maybe I'd never spoken to her in that tone before.
08:53My father took a sip of his coffee and forced a smile.
08:56Anya, sweetheart,
08:58Olivia just transferred to her new school.
09:00She's not doing well.
09:00So how about,
09:01how about you and Cole both drop back a grade
09:03so you can be in the same class as your sister?
09:06To sell it,
09:07he added quickly.
09:08Cole already said yes.
09:09We're just waiting on you.
09:11I looked at Cole,
09:12and he was staring at the floor.
09:13Couldn't meet my eyes.
09:15Here we go.
09:16Last time around,
09:17it was the same.
09:19They made me and Cole,
09:20who were already in seventh grade,
09:22drop back to sixth with Olivia.
09:24A year later,
09:24my childhood sweetheart Felix,
09:26by then thick as thieves with Olivia,
09:28transferred into our class
09:29on the excuse that he wanted to look after me.
09:31After that,
09:32the three of them put on their little theater every day.
09:34Made up stories about how I was bullying Olivia,
09:37got the whole class to freeze me out.
09:39Brilliant.
09:40But I wasn't going to play with elementary schoolers this time.
09:42Waste of a life.
09:44I tilted my head.
09:45She needs two servants just to get through school.
09:49My father slammed his fork down.
09:51Anya,
09:52what did you just say?
09:53I said,
09:54since Cole's already volunteered to be her servant,
09:56you don't need to drag me into it.
09:58My mother grabbed her arm,
09:59eyes wide.
10:00Anya,
10:01what are you saying?
10:02What servant?
10:03Your dad just wants you all to spend time together.
10:06Get close.
10:07I have no obligation to get close to her.
10:09Whoever wants to wait on her,
10:11can wait on her.
10:12I stared at Cole.
10:13He'd been frozen like a deer in headlights this whole time.
10:16It's settled.
10:17The two of you go to elementary school.
10:19I'll stay in seventh grade.
10:21We leave each other alone.
10:22I turned and went upstairs.
10:24Left the four of them downstairs,
10:25consoling Olivia,
10:26who couldn't stop crying.
10:27Around nine that night,
10:29Cole knocked on my door.
10:31Anya,
10:31are you asleep?
10:33What?
10:34Could you open the door?
10:36No.
10:36The hall went quiet.
10:38Just as I thought he'd left,
10:39his voice came through again.
10:40Anya,
10:41you're upset,
10:42aren't you?
10:43No.
10:43You are.
10:44Anya,
10:45is it because I only paid attention to our new sister today
10:48and ignored you?
10:48I exhaled.
10:49Really?
10:50No.
10:51Cole,
10:51you can get close to whoever you want.
10:53I don't care.
10:53The hall went quiet again.
10:54After a long pause,
10:56his voice came back.
10:57There was something tired in it.
10:58Anya,
10:58Olivia,
10:59she's really pitiful.
11:00She's got such a soft heart.
11:01I'm scared she'll get pushed around.
11:03Anya,
11:03let me stay with her for a year.
11:05Once she settles in,
11:06I'll transfer back to your school,
11:07okay?
11:08Right,
11:08right,
11:09right.
11:09The school is funded by your family.
11:12You can do whatever you want.
11:13Slid my noise-canceling earplugs in,
11:15got into bed.
11:16The next morning,
11:17I walked into the living room
11:18with my suitcase and my backpack.
11:20Everyone froze.
11:23I looked up and saw Felix sitting next to Olivia,
11:26my future fiancé,
11:28the man who would one day betray me for Olivia.
11:30At 12,
11:30he was already a head taller than Cole.
11:32The moment he saw me,
11:33he jumped up,
11:34his soft hazel eyes crinkling,
11:36voice all bright.
11:37Anya,
11:38I'm here to walk you to school.
11:39I looked down,
11:40saw Olivia's hand still wrapped around his arm.
11:43You don't need to walk me anywhere,
11:45ever.
11:45If you want to walk someone else,
11:47go ahead.
11:47Why?
11:48I gestured at the suitcase behind me.
11:50Felix wasn't the only one looking lost.
11:52So were my parents.
11:53So was Cole.
11:54Anna?
11:55What's that?
11:56Cole's eyes were red-rimmed.
11:57Clothes.
11:58And some things I need.
12:00And my jewelry.
12:00I won't give them up this time.
12:02Forgot to mention,
12:03starting today,
12:04I'm leaving here.
12:06What?
12:07What?
12:07What?
12:08All of them at once.
12:11My father came over,
12:12cold-faced,
12:13and crouched down to look at me.
12:14Anya,
12:15why?
12:16Is home not good enough?
12:18Where do you even want to go?
12:19Boarding school.
12:20I set it flat.
12:21His hands on my hair was shaking a little,
12:23and he glanced back at Olivia,
12:24hesitant.
12:24Is it because,
12:25because of Olivia?
12:26Before I could react,
12:27Olivia bit her lip
12:28and let out a soft,
12:29choked sob.
12:30What are you saying?
12:31Of course not.
12:32Anya,
12:33you tell us yourself.
12:34Why are you boarding at school?
12:35It can't be because of your sister.
12:37You love her,
12:37don't you?
12:38Every face in the room was waiting,
12:40hopeful.
12:40They wanted me to say yes.
12:41I love her.
12:42I want to board because I'm being a brat.
12:44But I make it my job to disappoint people.
12:46No,
12:46I don't love her.
12:47I hate her.
12:48And it's not just her.
12:50I hate every single one of you.
12:52Their faces went bone white.
12:53Only Felix didn't really react.
12:54He looked like he thought I was throwing a jealous fit.
12:56His face was full of patience and wry indulgence.
12:58When I dragged my suitcase past him,
13:00he even reached out to help me carry it.
13:01I dodged.
13:02He didn't get angry,
13:03just kept trailing me.
13:04My parents tried to come after me,
13:06but Olivia's sobbing cut them off.
13:08Mom,
13:09Dad,
13:11send me to an orphan.
13:12I don't deserve to be here.
13:14Of course,
13:15more cooing,
13:16more comfort.
13:16The only odd thing was that Cole,
13:18for the first time,
13:19didn't say a word.
13:20Felix was still on my heels
13:21and climbed straight into my car.
13:22Get in your own car.
13:24No,
13:24I'm not going.
13:25I'm coming with you.
13:26My fingertips twitched.
13:27Last life around,
13:28the same.
13:29When everyone else turned on me,
13:30the only one who didn't take Olivia's side
13:32was Felix.
13:33He'd stand behind me
13:34when she set me up.
13:35He'd snap back at Cole
13:36when Cole yelled at me.
13:37When my parents got more and more
13:38disappointed in me,
13:39he'd hold me and say softly,
13:40Anya,
13:41don't be scared.
13:42You've got me.
13:44I'll always just love you.
13:45I'd clung to him
13:46like a drowning person
13:47clings to a piece of wood
13:48until our 14th birthday.
13:49Olivia collapsed out of nowhere.
13:51Felix,
13:51faster than anyone,
13:52shoved me out of the way
13:53and caught her.
13:54A fake medium
13:55he'd personally brought
13:56immediately took the chance
13:57and announced my name was bad luck
13:58and it was crushing Olivia's fortune.
14:00What a flimsy excuse.
14:01I still remember the shock
14:02and embarrassment
14:03on every guest's face that night.
14:05Every adult in the room
14:06could see it for what it was.
14:07A staged public humiliation.
14:09But my parents took me
14:10to get my name legally changed
14:11without a single argument.
14:12From that day forward,
14:13the name I'd had for 14 years,
14:15Anya,
14:15became a banned word in our house
14:17since they called me Mia.
14:18Mia.
14:18A name picked to protect Olivia.
14:20I hated it.
14:21I hated it until the day I died.
14:23I didn't answer Felix
14:25if he'd be transferring
14:25to Olivia's class
14:26in a few weeks anyway.
14:27I took my paperwork
14:28and my boarding fee
14:29straight to the dorm supervisor.
14:31When Felix saw me
14:32actually hand the money over,
14:33the casual look
14:34fell off his face.
14:34He finally got it.
14:35I wasn't joking around.
14:36Anya?
14:37Confusion was thick in his eyes.
14:39Why do you hate me too?
14:41What did I do wrong?
14:42His fingers caught
14:43at my sleeve carefully
14:44and I slapped his hand off hard,
14:45disgust all over my face,
14:47wiped at my sleeve
14:47with a tissue,
14:48his voice caught in his throat.
14:49Anya.
14:50I walked off down the hallway
14:51to the head's office.
14:52Before first period started,
14:54I requested a transfer
14:55to a new class.
14:56When I came around the corner
14:57with an armful of books,
14:58I saw Felix again,
14:59eyes red.
15:01He looked at the books
15:02and my arms
15:02and his face crumpled.
15:04Anya,
15:05don't transfer,
15:06please.
15:07In that exact moment,
15:08a basketball came flying
15:09out of room 7B
15:10and clocked him square
15:11in the head.
15:12I dodged with the books
15:13and slipped into the classroom.
15:14Felix went down the hallway,
15:15paused to stir.
15:16A boy in the classroom
15:17was still in his
15:18shooting follow-through.
15:19His uniform hung loose on him.
15:20His mouth was stretched
15:21into an exaggerated...
15:22Whoa!
15:23Sorry,
15:23didn't mean to hit anyone.
15:24You good, man?
15:25I glanced at him,
15:26walked past with my books.
15:27I might have been imagining it,
15:29but his arm went stiff
15:29for a second.
15:30Then he leaned on a desk
15:31with one hand
15:32and pointed casually
15:33at the seat next to him,
15:34voice all swagger.
15:35Past that is the trash can.
15:37Maybe sit next to me?
15:41I looked at him.
15:42He looked away fast.
15:45The teacher said
15:45a new student was coming,
15:47told the class principal,
15:48me,
15:49to look out for her.
15:50He rubbed his face,
15:51rubbed it so hard
15:52his ears went red.
15:53Class president of 7B,
15:54Jace,
15:55the certified troublemaker.
15:56The kids around me
15:57were either laughing
15:58at Felix on the floor
15:59or sneaking looks at us.
16:00I sighed.
16:017B's bad reputation
16:02was earned.
16:03I pressed my lips together.
16:05Thanks.
16:06I prefer to sit alone.
16:08I put my books down
16:09at the desk
16:09at the very back
16:10against the wall.
16:11Jace looked annoyed
16:12at himself.
16:13His voice got urgent.
16:14Hey, you!
16:14Don't sit there.
16:15Trade with me.
16:16I'm taller.
16:16I'll block your view
16:17of the board.
16:18Before I could say no,
16:19Felix burst in,
16:20face streaked with dust,
16:21slammed his hands
16:21on my books.
16:22Anya,
16:24come back with me.
16:26Let go.
16:28No.
16:30Bro,
16:30are you done
16:31with the drama?
16:32Jace looked at him
16:32like he was something
16:33stuck to his shoe.
16:34She wants to be
16:35in our class.
16:36Who asked you?
16:36Someone from the doorway
16:37tossed Jace another ball.
16:39He balanced it
16:39on one finger,
16:40spinning,
16:41and gave Felix
16:41a look that was pure dare.
16:43Felix ground his teeth,
16:44looked down at me,
16:44and I was already
16:45organizing my desk.
16:46Get out.
16:47The bell rang.
16:47Felix's hand clenched.
16:50Anya.
16:51I didn't answer.
16:51He gave up,
16:52shot Jace a venomous look,
16:53walked out,
16:54and I exhaled.
16:59Thanks.
17:00Wait,
17:00you talking to me?
17:01I nodded.
17:02He suddenly stood up
17:03straight as a board
17:04and chucked the basketball
17:04at the trash can behind me.
17:06I stared,
17:06didn't know what just happened.
17:08His face went redder.
17:09Reflex.
17:09Don't,
17:10don't mention it.
17:11I caught myself smiling.
17:12He went even stiffer.
17:14Jace ended up trading seats
17:16with me anyway.
17:16I told him over and over.
17:18It was winter.
17:18The trash got emptied often.
17:20There was no smell.
17:21But he was firm.
17:22He moved me up to the front.
17:23You're obviously a neat freak
17:24and a good student.
17:26No way I'm letting you
17:26sit back there.
17:27Like he decided to be
17:28the world's most committed
17:29class president.
17:30He handled every detail
17:31of my class transfer.
17:32So when the teacher
17:33pulled us aside
17:33and asked if I could
17:34help bring his grades up,
17:35I hesitated,
17:36then nodded.
17:37School life was dry,
17:38but full.
17:39To stay away from home,
17:39I signed up for every
17:40tutoring program
17:41I could find on weekends.
17:42Summer and winter breaks,
17:44I packed myself off
17:44to camps abroad.
17:45School work aside,
17:46I was starting to look outward,
17:48see the world.
17:48At first my parents
17:49came to school
17:50every few days.
17:50Then since I always
17:51looked at them blankly,
17:52they stopped coming.
17:53Every so often
17:54there was a phone call.
17:55They'd sigh into the phone.
17:57Anya,
17:58we just want you girls
17:59to get along.
18:01Olivia really misses you.
18:02You're not coming home
18:03this weekend?
18:04No.
18:05I didn't say much.
18:06Conversations got awkward fat.
18:07I'd just hang up.
18:08They said I'm weird
18:09and unlikable now.
18:10They were right.
18:11I didn't have the ability
18:12to be adorable,
18:12but my brother Cole
18:13came every day.
18:14Without fail,
18:15he carried meals from home,
18:16running between
18:17the elementary school
18:18and the middle school.
18:19Sometimes Olivia trailed
18:20after him out of breath.
18:21She looked at me
18:21like I was the villain.
18:22Sister,
18:23our brother is killing himself
18:25doing this.
18:25Just be nice
18:26and come to our class.
18:27I took the meal box
18:28from Cole
18:29and sat down to eat.
18:30Olivia bit her lip,
18:31eyes wet,
18:31looked at Cole.
18:32He wiped sweat off his forehead
18:33and gave her a generous
18:34big brother smile.
18:35It's nothing.
18:36Anya,
18:37the school food's terrible.
18:38I'll bring you home
18:39cooking every day.
18:40I ignored him.
18:41He didn't get angry.
18:42When I finished eating,
18:42he'd take the empty container
18:43and run back to elementary school.
18:45Felix came less and less.
18:46He stopped pushing me
18:47to engage with him.
18:48He just spent every break
18:49standing by the window,
18:50glancing over at me
18:51like he wasn't.
18:52I pretended I couldn't see.
18:55The days went by
18:56the day before
18:56my 14th birthday.
18:58My parents showed up
18:58at the school
18:59and usually Cole
19:00was with them.
19:01When they saw me,
19:02both of them did
19:02a little double take.
19:03My mother's hands shook a bit
19:04as she grabbed my arm.
19:05You've gotten taller again.
19:07Sweetheart,
19:08it's been so long
19:09since you came home.
19:10Her eyes went pink
19:10and set off my father's too.
19:12There was a catch
19:13in his voice.
19:14Yeah, Anya,
19:16your birthday is tomorrow.
19:17We've got everything set up.
19:18Come home, okay?
19:19Like he was scared
19:19I'd refuse,
19:20Cole added quickly.
19:21You can invite your friends,
19:22classmates,
19:23you didn't come home last year.
19:25We waited up the whole night.
19:27Right,
19:27on my birthday last year,
19:28Jace had found out somehow.
19:30He dragged the whole
19:31goofy crew from class
19:32and announced
19:32we were going horseback riding.
19:34Anya,
19:35can you like
19:36open up a little?
19:37I looked at him,
19:38lost.
19:39He pulled at the corners
19:40of his own mouth
19:41with two fingers.
19:42It's your birthday.
19:43Quit being all uptight.
19:45Smile.
19:45He was sitting up
19:46on a tall chestnut horse.
19:47Happy birthday.
19:48Son behind him,
19:49head tilted to look at me.
19:50Thanks.
19:54I sat up on the horse,
19:55wind in my ears,
19:56felt something inside me
19:57that had been locked tight.
19:59Easy.
19:59It wasn't until the next day
20:01that I saw all the missed calls
20:02from my family
20:03and the pile of birthday gifts
20:06Cole had brought
20:07to the front of my classroom.
20:08I was surprised.
20:10Last time,
20:10my 12th birthday
20:11was the last time
20:11I got a gift.
20:13Anya,
20:14come home tomorrow.
20:15Cole kept going,
20:16but when I turned,
20:16I saw Olivia holding
20:17onto Felix's arm.
20:19That memorable
20:20naming ceremony night,
20:21the nausea was still in me.
20:22I frowned without meaning to.
20:24Felix yanked his arm
20:25out of her hand fast.
20:26I've been looking for you.
20:28Olivia said you were here.
20:29She brought me.
20:30I just-
20:31You don't have to explain.
20:32I cut him off.
20:33I'm busy tomorrow.
20:34I'm not coming home.
20:36Anya.
20:37I turned and went back
20:38into the classroom.
20:40Behind me,
20:40my mother have started crying
20:41as I turned the corner,
20:43I heard a heavy sigh.
20:44Honey,
20:45did we-
20:47we do this wrong?
20:50But I don't care
20:51about them anymore.
20:52Right now,
20:52I had a butter knife
20:53in my hand
20:53and I was carefully
20:54cutting into a cake
20:55that said happy birthday,
20:56Anya.
20:56The class turned off
20:57the lights
20:58and the warm wash
20:59of candlelight
20:59everyone sang.
21:01Anya,
21:01make a wish.
21:03I closed my eyes
21:04for a second,
21:04wished,
21:05with my whole soul.
21:06Please,
21:07whoever's listening,
21:07keep me far away
21:08from those people
21:09this lifetime.
21:09When I opened my eyes,
21:10Jace was standing
21:11in front of me
21:12with a small
21:12wrapped box.
21:13Anya,
21:14happy birthday.
21:14Open it.
21:15I smiled and opened it.
21:17Froze.
21:18A hair clip
21:18studded with crystals.
21:19What?
21:19You don't like it?
21:20Should have asked you first.
21:21He scratched at his head,
21:22frustrated.
21:23The other day,
21:23I saw you staring
21:23at a hair clip
21:24on the sidewalk.
21:25That one was cheap,
21:25so I found a better one.
21:27I love it.
21:29He froze.
21:30I picked up the clip
21:31and put it in my hair.
21:34His eyes had that
21:35soft littering thing happening.
21:37No problem.
21:38As long as you like it,
21:38it's really pretty.
21:40It was.
21:40Very pretty.
21:41A piece by the international designer,
21:43Victor,
21:43from his Starlight collection.
21:45When I was 17,
21:46I'd seen it at an auction
21:47and fallen in love with it.
21:48I thought my mother
21:49would love it too.
21:50I'd brought five years
21:50of saved up money.
21:52Started bidding.
21:53But that day,
21:54no matter what I bid,
21:54Olivia bid a dollar higher.
21:57In the end,
21:57my mother stepped in
21:58and bought the piece
21:59for $30 million.
22:02Absurd price.
22:03And she put it
22:03in Olivia's hair.
22:04They said,
22:05You have everything.
22:06Why fight a little girl
22:07over this?
22:08Olivia wore it in front of me
22:09every single day,
22:10showing off.
22:10Mia,
22:11it's the gift from mom,
22:12but I can give it to you
22:14if you beg me.
22:15That hair clip
22:15became one of my obsessions.
22:17And here it was
22:18in my palm,
22:18three years earlier
22:19than it should have been.
22:21My eyes filled
22:22before I knew it.
22:23All of you.
22:25Really.
22:25It was strange.
22:26The heart I'd thought was dead
22:27started slowly to beat again.
22:32After that day,
22:33my family started
22:34bothering me less.
22:35Even Cole and Felix,
22:36the daily fixtures,
22:37disappeared for a long stretch.
22:39It took the class gossip queen
22:40to fill me in.
22:42Olivia got crazy.
22:44She couldn't bear my parents
22:45or Cole,
22:45leaving her side for a second.
22:47I heard your mom mention
22:48sending her to a school abroad
22:50and she snapped.
22:50Like, totally.
22:51Word is,
22:52she's even tried to hurt herself.
22:54She wanted to recover at home,
22:55but she won't let Cole
22:55come to school either.
22:56Whole family has to camp
22:57at home with her.
22:58Felix, too.
22:58She won't let go of him.
22:59His family's having a huge fight
23:00with yours about it.
23:01I gripped my pen tighter.
23:02This was exactly what I'd done
23:04in my last life.
23:04The more they ignored you,
23:06the harder you reached
23:06for attention.
23:08Tantrums,
23:08screaming,
23:09all of it.
23:09Like a lunatic,
23:10except she was luckier
23:11than I'd been.
23:12Her family was patient with her
23:13and I was relieved.
23:14Not that any of it
23:15was my problem.
23:16With no one bothering me,
23:17I dragged the whole class
23:18into intense study mode.
23:20If someone slacked,
23:21Jace intimidated them.
23:22Six months later,
23:23we all got into
23:24the best high school
23:24in the city.
23:25I didn't go home
23:26once that summer.
23:27I went up Mount Kazbek
23:28with Jace's family.
23:29Turns out his parents
23:30were professional climbers.
23:31They'd originally planned
23:32to summit Mont Blanc,
23:33but you had to be 16
23:34to climb Mont Blanc.
23:35Jace and I were both
23:36too young.
23:37Anya,
23:38hot tea.
23:39Jace's mother had a soft spot
23:40for me from day one.
23:41The gorgeous woman
23:42with sharp eyes
23:43would pull me into a hug
23:44and refuse to let go.
23:45Anya, you're so cute,
23:47so pretty.
23:48I'm in love.
23:49Be my daughter.
23:49Did it finally.
23:50Honestly,
23:50why is my kid a son?
23:52Doesn't make sense.
23:52Mom, please,
23:53be reasonable.
23:54Why is your kid a son?
23:54Because you don't
23:55have a daughter.
23:56His father's laugh
23:57thundered.
23:58The whole summit
23:58echoed with it.
23:59I caught my breath
24:00and looked out
24:01at the white world below.
24:02Jace shook out a blanket
24:03and wrapped it
24:04around my shoulders.
24:05I turned and saw
24:06his parents huddled together,
24:07grinning at us
24:08like idiots.
24:09But the moment
24:09we looked back,
24:10they snapped
24:10their heads away.
24:12Beautiful mountain.
24:13Beautiful snow.
24:15Beautiful young time.
24:18Jace's face was red
24:19and I couldn't help it.
24:20The corner of my mouth
24:21turned up.
24:24I didn't enroll
24:25in the private high school
24:26my family owned shares in.
24:27Cole lost it
24:28and he left Olivia
24:29who was getting sicker
24:29by the day
24:30and skipped a grade
24:31so he could be a high school
24:32freshman with me.
24:35Felix fought his own family.
24:36His mother locked him
24:37in his room
24:38and that ridiculous engagement
24:39I'd already brushed off
24:40as a joke
24:40before summer break.
24:42Mrs. Adler,
24:43please,
24:44keep an eye on your son.
24:45Don't let him keep chasing me.
24:46I told his mother
24:47without mercy.
24:48I told the school in advance
24:49to turn away
24:50outside visitors.
24:51So in three years
24:52I saw them
24:52maybe four or five times total.
24:54The day after the SAT,
24:56my parents,
24:57who I hadn't seen
24:58in forever,
24:58ambushed me
24:59at the school gate.
25:00I didn't get out
25:00fast enough.
25:01I don't know how,
25:02but the two of them
25:03looked like they'd aged
25:04ten years.
25:05My mother walked
25:06toward me
25:06with this pleading smile.
25:07I stepped back
25:08without thinking.
25:10She froze,
25:10then covered her mouth
25:11and crumpled
25:12into my father's chest,
25:13sobbing.
25:13He started crying too.
25:16Anya,
25:17mom missed you so much.
25:19Let me hug you,
25:20please.
25:20I frowned
25:21without meaning to.
25:22Who do you miss?
25:23Who do you want to hug?
25:24Me?
25:25You already have
25:25a son and a daughter.
25:26Smart son
25:27who adores his sister.
25:28Sweet,
25:29well-behaved daughter
25:29who respects her parents.
25:31Why would you miss me?
25:33My mother's
25:34sob stopped cold.
25:35She looked up at me,
25:36panic on her face.
25:37She started shaking.
25:40No,
25:41that's not,
25:41that's not real.
25:42That was a dream.
25:42That wasn't real.
25:43She kept shaking her head,
25:44mumbling to herself.
25:45My father grabbed her,
25:47alarmed.
25:50Anya,
25:51what did you do
25:51to your mother?
25:52I'm a full meter
25:53away from her.
25:54I haven't laid a finger
25:54on her,
25:55Mr. Linster.
25:56What did you just call me?
25:57Mr. Linster?
25:58Anya,
25:58are you losing your mind?
26:00Your mother and I
26:00came all the way here
26:01for you,
26:02and this is how-
26:02I thought my attitude
26:03was fine,
26:04way better than how
26:05they'd treated me
26:05in my last life.
26:06I shrugged,
26:07stepped back.
26:08See you.
26:09Stop right there!
26:11He reached for my arm.
26:12I dodged.
26:15What,
26:15you want to hit me,
26:16Mr. Linchewski?
26:17I think we've spoiled you rotten.
26:19You need a lesson.
26:21His hand came up.
26:22My mother let out a scream
26:23that tore out of her chest.
26:25No!
26:26Don't hit her!
26:27She grabbed his arm,
26:28sobbing so hard
26:29her legs gave out
26:30and ended up on the ground.
26:31That's why she hates me so much.
26:33She covered her face
26:34with her hands
26:35and laughed
26:35and cried into the pavement.
26:37I turned to leave
26:37and behind me,
26:38Jace's mother yelled joyfully,
26:40Sweetheart,
26:40over here!
26:42She and Jace's father
26:43were each holding a bouquet,
26:44waving at me hard.
26:46Jace also stood beside them.
26:47I went up on my toes
26:48and yelled back,
26:50Auntie!
26:50I ran to her.
26:52She tossed her flowers
26:53at Jace and grabbed me
26:54and spun me in a full circle.
26:56Feels better now
26:56that it's over, right?
26:57Take a few days.
26:58Then we mont blanc,
26:59here we come.
27:00Um, yes.
27:01Jace took my bag.
27:02His dad pressed
27:02an ice cream into my hand.
27:04The four of us
27:04walked off together laughing
27:05and behind us,
27:06two figures stood frozen,
27:08getting smaller and smaller
27:09in the distance.
27:11The day we flew to France,
27:13Jace's dad was driving,
27:14his mom was in the passenger seat
27:15humming,
27:16and both of them lit up.
27:18Jace and I,
27:18on the other hand,
27:19hit the back seats
27:20and were out cold.
27:22I figured we'd sleep
27:23all the way to the airport
27:24and then his dad
27:25slammed on the brakes
27:26and our heads cracked
27:27into the seat back.
27:28When I opened my eyes,
27:29a dark figure had launched
27:30in front of the car.
27:31If his dad's brakes
27:33hadn't been fast,
27:33the guy would have gone flying.
27:36Insurance scam?
27:37We piled out,
27:39but the man on his knees
27:39in front of the car
27:40was Cole.
27:41I hadn't seen him in a year.
27:42The sight of him was a shock.
27:44He was so thin,
27:45painfully thin.
27:46Middle of summer
27:47and he was bundled
27:48head to toe
27:48in heavy clothing
27:49and his exposed face
27:50was covered in marks.
27:52Like claw marks,
27:53fingernails,
27:54old ones layered with new.
27:55A handsome face,
27:56basically ruined.
27:58I jumped.
27:59Jace and his dad
28:00immediately stepped
28:00in front of me
28:01and his mom.
28:02You sick, man!
28:03You want to play in traffic?
28:04Jace went full volume
28:05and I gave him
28:06a quiet thumbs up.
28:07He winked.
28:07Cole snapped
28:08like a stray dog gone feral.
28:10He slammed past Jace
28:11and threw himself at me
28:12and his whole body was shaking,
28:13his red raw eyes
28:14pouring tears.
28:15Please forgive us.
28:16Come home and see mom.
28:17She's dying.
28:18I'm begging you.
28:18He was strong out of his mind.
28:20Both Jace's parents together
28:21couldn't pull him off me.
28:23Jace lost it.
28:24He grabbed a tire iron
28:26out of the trunk
28:26and went to swing it
28:27at Cole's head.
28:28Jake, don't!
28:30I yanked Cole down
28:31with me toward the curb.
28:32Drop it.
28:33Honey.
28:34His mother and I
28:34shouted at the same time
28:35and it finally pulled him back.
28:37The tire iron fell,
28:39cracked the pavement.
28:40Was he insane?
28:41You go to prison
28:42for killing someone?
28:43I looked at Jace,
28:45heart still hammering.
28:46He was more shaken
28:47than I was,
28:47jaw locked,
28:48veins standing out
28:49in his neck.
28:50Something flickered.
28:51I felt like I'd seen
28:52this exact moment before
28:53and I shook my head.
28:55Sweat ran down
28:55off my hairline
28:56and I gave in,
28:57looked at Cole.
29:00I'll go with you.
29:01Let go.
29:02You're hurting me.
29:03Jace and his parents
29:04worried about me
29:05so they drove me
29:05and Cole home.
29:07Cole was not okay.
29:08He huddled
29:09against the car window
29:10shaking,
29:10mumbling garbled stuff.
29:12He turned to Jace.
29:15I've seen you before.
29:16It was you.
29:17It was you!
29:18I looked at Jace.
29:19His face was cold,
29:20blank.
29:21He also didn't
29:21look like himself.
29:23My heart skipped.
29:25I grabbed his arm.
29:26Jace?
29:26A grin appeared
29:27on his mouth.
29:27Your humble servant
29:28at your command,
29:29my lady.
29:30Okay.
29:31Not body snatched.
29:32That weird.
29:33Definitely him.
29:34But Cole was looking
29:35at us with more horror now.
29:37He shrank further
29:37into the window.
29:38Already thin
29:39next to Jace's
29:40broader build,
29:40he looked like a ghost.
29:42I felt uneasy.
29:43So I took Jace's hand
29:44and before I could
29:44say anything,
29:45his face flushed
29:46all the way to his ears.
29:47Idiot.
29:49Back at the Lindquist house,
29:50I didn't know
29:51where to look first.
29:52The front door
29:53painted over
29:54with vicious letters
29:54in red,
29:55Die Slow.
29:56Whole family burn.
29:58Hypocrites.
29:58Jace stepped around
29:59the paint,
30:00pushed the half-open door.
30:01The living room
30:01came into view.
30:02Tables smashed,
30:03chairs broken,
30:05couch scorched.
30:06The spiral staircase
30:07had bloody clothes
30:07scattered all the way up.
30:09I covered my mouth,
30:09came close to throwing up.
30:11Jace's mom was furious
30:12and scared at the same time.
30:13She wanted to take me
30:14right back out,
30:14but Jace for once
30:15stopped her.
30:16Mom,
30:18this needs an ending.
30:20This is Anya's call.
30:22Let her decide.
30:23I made a fist,
30:24looked at Cole,
30:25who'd been silent
30:25since we walked in.
30:26You dragged me here
30:27and now you've gone mute?
30:28Where are your parents?
30:29Where's your sister?
30:30His body swayed,
30:32his chapped lips trembled.
30:33Dad's in the ER.
30:35Mom's in her room.
30:35Olivius is in a psych ward.
30:37My chest tightened.
30:38You lied to me.
30:39You said everyone was home.
30:41You said mom was just sick.
30:42It's not just my mom.
30:44She's our mom, Anya.
30:45She's not.
30:46I was breathing wrong.
30:47You brought me here for what?
30:48I tensed,
30:49shifted my weight,
30:50blocked Auntie behind me.
30:51No, no.
30:52I'm not here to hurt you.
30:53I swear.
30:54Mom is really dying.
30:56She didn't finish
30:58before my mother
30:59came stumbling
31:00out of her bedroom
31:00in a giant nightgown,
31:02hair everywhere,
31:02face hollowed out.
31:03The second she saw me,
31:04she nearly tumbled down the stairs.
31:06Anya.
31:07My Anya.
31:08Sweetheart.
31:09Are you hurt?
31:10Are you hurt?
31:11Anya.
31:12My baby girl.
31:14I'm so sorry.
31:16It's all my fault,
31:17my sweet girl.
31:18I shouldn't have let
31:19those people take you away.
31:21Were you scared?
31:23My Anya?
31:24Two tears fell from her eyes
31:26onto the back of her hand.
31:27Both of us froze.
31:28She knew she had
31:29the memory of last life.
31:30She was crying
31:31for the version of herself
31:32who watched her daughter
31:33get dragged into a psych ward
31:34sobbing until she vomited blood,
31:35crying for the version of herself
31:37who let her daughter
31:37cling to a car door,
31:39begging to be hugged
31:40one more time,
31:41and turned away.
31:42Mia, stop with this insanity.
31:44Without you,
31:44I still have my son and daughter.
31:45My son is sweet and smart
31:47and adores his sister.
31:48My daughter is gentle
31:49and respectful.
31:50I can't imagine
31:51how I ended up
31:52with a neurotic mess like you.
31:53You're an embarrassment
31:54to this family.
31:55An embarrassment
31:55to this family.
31:56That was the last thing
31:57my mother had said to me
31:58in my last life.
31:59I'd realized a while back
32:00she was starting
32:00to get her memories back too.
32:01The headmaster had asked me once,
32:03confused,
32:04if I had a nickname,
32:05Mia.
32:05Um,
32:06your mom texts me a lot,
32:07asked me to look after you.
32:09It was always normal.
32:09But the past two weeks,
32:11she keeps getting your name wrong.
32:12She'd thought it was a dream
32:13or she'd lied to herself
32:15that it was a dream.
32:16But then she heard me.
32:17She realized it had all really happened
32:18and she broke.
32:19Cole,
32:20send your mother to a psych ward.
32:22She's a better fit
32:23for the place
32:23than Olivia ever was.
32:24Cole,
32:25who had only been weeping,
32:26raised his head,
32:26looked at our increasingly
32:27unhinged mother
32:28and dropped to his knees.
32:30While we waited for the doctor,
32:32I finally pieced together
32:33from Cole's broken account
32:34what had happened.
32:35Three years ago,
32:36Olivia had overheard our mother
32:37say she regretted adopting her.
32:38That broke something in her.
32:39The soft sweetness vanished.
32:41She turned obsessive.
32:42Vicious.
32:43Vicious to everyone.
32:44Worse to herself.
32:44She started cutting herself.
32:46In the middle of the night,
32:47she'd take a knife
32:47into our parents' bedroom,
32:48slice open her arm,
32:50bleed.
32:50Cutting and crying,
32:51telling them how her father
32:52had begged ours to take her in,
32:53saying she loved them,
32:54saying she couldn't be abandoned.
32:56The whole family was terrified.
32:57No one dared say the words,
32:59send her away again.
33:00They watched her even more carefully.
33:01Used to be out of love.
33:02Now it was fear.
33:04But she still felt unsafe.
33:05She started demanding
33:06everyone be with her,
33:07day and night.
33:08If anyone left,
33:09she screamed and clawed
33:10at whatever was in reach.
33:11Cole and Felix dropped out of school
33:12because she'd clawed up their faces.
33:14And that's why Felix's family
33:15had gone to war with mine
33:16a month before.
33:17My mother was already
33:18not right in the head.
33:19She would sit alone in a room
33:20and call out softly,
33:21my girl, my girl.
33:23Olivia, thinking her adoptive mother
33:24had finally come around,
33:25ran in to throw her arms around
33:27her.
33:27My mother shoved her heart
33:28onto the floor.
33:29The softness was gone.
33:30The way she looked at Olivia
33:31was pure revulsion.
33:32Olivia finally understood.
33:34She wasn't the girl being called.
33:35Her adoptive mother
33:36was calling someone else.
33:37Someone invisible.
33:38Her real daughter.
33:39Olivia couldn't take
33:39the humiliation.
33:40She started torturing
33:41all of them harder.
33:42When she overheard my parents
33:43talking about cutting her loose
33:44the day she turned 18,
33:46she got out the paint
33:46and ruined the whole front
33:47of the house.
33:48I'll expose you.
33:49You abused a dead man's daughter.
33:51May you all rot.
33:52The night before college
33:53application deadlines,
33:54she demanded that Cole
33:55stay up and take her to a bar.
33:56When Cole flatly said
33:57he didn't want to,
33:58she sliced her wrist.
33:59Cole panicked,
34:00bandaged her,
34:01and went.
34:02She drugged his drink.
34:03By the time Cole came to,
34:04it was late the next afternoon.
34:05Cole,
34:07I matter more than the college,
34:08right?
34:09I'm the most important,
34:10right?
34:11Cole shut himself in his room
34:12and refused to come out.
34:13What was harder to believe
34:14was that she'd used my name
34:16to lure Felix out too.
34:17Cole said Felix's drink
34:18wasn't drugged.
34:19At least before he passed out,
34:20Felix had been completely alert.
34:22Somehow,
34:23Felix didn't make it
34:23to the application either.
34:24Felix's father showed up
34:25at our house with men.
34:26The men he brought
34:27stabbed my father
34:28and dragged Olivia
34:29to a psych ward.
34:31My mother was still
34:32wildly unstable,
34:33especially after the doctors arrived.
34:35She wrapped both arms around me
34:36and wouldn't let go,
34:36screaming,
34:37don't take my daughter!
34:38Don't take me away!
34:40I pried her hands off me.
34:41First,
34:42I'm not your daughter.
34:43Second,
34:43my name isn't Mia
34:44and I hate that name
34:46about as much as I hate you.
34:47You and your husband
34:48weren't raising kids.
34:48You were running a fight ring.
34:50Last one alive
34:51gets to call you mom?
34:52And honestly,
34:52I'm baffled.
34:53Every kid you adopt,
34:54every kid you raise
34:55ends up a wreck.
34:56If you can't love your kids equally,
34:57why have them at all?
34:58She finally went silent,
34:59eyes huge,
35:00tears non-stop.
35:01In the end,
35:02like the last bit of air
35:02had been pushed out of her,
35:03she collapsed to her knees
35:04and let the doctors
35:05and nurses load her into the car.
35:07Past the bushes by the door,
35:08I could feel something
35:09burning into me.
35:10A stare.
35:11I turned,
35:11just caught a limping figure
35:12walking away.
35:13The second I recognized that walk,
35:15Anya?
35:15Jace was calling me
35:16and I turned back.
35:17He was tilting or doubling.
35:18His outline split into two,
35:20three.
35:20No,
35:21not him
35:21and it was me.
35:22Anya.
35:23My head was so heavy
35:24and I'd walked into fog
35:25like a stray ghost
35:26drifting,
35:27searching
35:27with nowhere to go.
35:29Anna.
35:29Anna.
35:30Anna.
35:31Someone calling me?
35:32But my name was Mia now.
35:34I'd had it changed.
35:35Anya.
35:36Don't scare me.
35:37Anya.
35:38Who was calling him?
35:38Sounded like a boy.
35:39A voice cracked with panic.
35:41It made me want to cry.
35:41I wanted to tell him.
35:43Don't cry.
35:43I'm not worth it.
35:45You are.
35:45You deserve to be loved.
35:47Anya.
35:48Is your real name Anya?
35:49It's beautiful.
35:51So much better than Mia.
35:52Anya.
35:53From now on,
35:54I'll only call you Anya.
35:55Don't be scared.
35:55If that psycho comes back,
35:57I'll throw him out.
35:57He tries to choke you again,
35:59touch you.
35:59I'll kill him myself.
36:00Hey, Anya.
36:01Don't cry.
36:02They just shocked me a couple times.
36:03I'm tough.
36:04I can take it.
36:04Doesn't hurt.
36:05Anya.
36:05What's wrong?
36:06Why are you coughing blood?
36:07You're scaring me.
36:08What?
36:08Where did these bruises come from?
36:10Your brother.
36:11Your brother kicked you.
36:12Is he even human?
36:14Anna.
36:15No.
36:16Don't close your eyes, please.
36:18The blurry voices in the fog
36:19and one clear sobbing voice overlapped.
36:21Oh, I know now.
36:23I see you.
36:25My chase.
36:26The boy who'd shared that psych ward with me once
36:29and last night.
36:30The boy who at 18 watched both his parents die,
36:33saving someone.
36:33The boy whose mind broke.
36:35The boy who, when Felix had a hand around my throat
36:38and his mouth on mine,
36:39broke out of his restraints
36:40and put a fist through Felix's temple.
36:42The boy who, again and again,
36:44sat through electroshock for me
36:46after I stopped breathing.
36:47He broke out of that godforsaken psych ward,
36:49set the Lindquist house on fire,
36:51watched them scream and run
36:52and shove each other in the flames,
36:54all one by one,
36:55then took a piece of broken glass
36:56and dragged it across his own throat.
36:58We met again in the fog.
36:59He took my hand and led me forward step by step.
37:02Anya, why didn't I find you sooner?
37:04I love you.
37:05I love you.
37:06I love you so much.
37:07You deserve everything.
37:09Anya, if we get to do it over,
37:12stay far from what hurts you.
37:13Love yourself more than anyone.
37:15Promise me.
37:16Yes.
37:16I want to make the trade.
37:18Trade my whole soul
37:20for the love and feeling that girl pawned to you.
37:22She doesn't get to lose her ability to love.
37:25She has to love herself.
37:26She has to grow a heart that loves herself.
37:29Please, give it back.
37:30The sweet man looked up
37:32at the stubborn boy in front of him.
37:33His eyes held something almost like pity.
37:36All right.
37:37In fact,
37:39I'll make you a wager.
37:42How about it?
37:43I bet.
37:44This girl,
37:44even this lifetime,
37:46doesn't learn to love herself.
37:47I'll take every memory of you out of her.
37:50And you,
37:51I'll send back with these memories.
37:52You'll watch her,
37:53day after day,
37:54walk the same path.
37:55Unable to speak.
37:56Unable to change anything.
37:57He held out a hand,
37:58a contract.
37:59You're wrong.
38:01She will learn to love herself.
38:03I'm sure of it.
38:04The boy didn't hesitate,
38:05gave him his heart.
38:06A flash of white light.
38:09I opened my eyes.
38:10A hospital ceiling,
38:11and then by the bed,
38:12Jace.
38:13Slumped forward,
38:14gripping my hand like I might disappear.
38:16You're awake.
38:17My movement had woken him,
38:18and I looked at him,
38:19at the dark circles under his eyes,
38:21at the worry he was trying to hide.
38:23The tears came before I could stop them.
38:24I know.
38:26I know it was you.
38:28Before he could react,
38:29I threw myself into his arms.
38:31Two months later,
38:32I was discharged.
38:33The doctor said it was a short blackout,
38:35caused by emotional overload.
38:36Jace and I got into the same university,
38:38just like we'd planned.
38:39In our free time,
38:40Jace put a lot of work into educating amateur climbers,
38:42about the dangers of snow mountains,
38:44and basic survival skills.
38:45The mountain rescue team we self-funded,
38:47was now up and running,
38:48and his parents,
38:49still the same firecrackers they'd always been.
38:51I thought about asking them to stop climbing.
38:53Jace and I both worried they'd lose their lives,
38:54saving someone again.
38:56Every time I tried,
38:57the light in their eyes shut me up.
38:58People need to love things,
39:00for forcing them to give it up,
39:01is its own kind of cruelty.
39:03Luckily.
39:03The fall we turned 18.
39:05They saved the climber,
39:06clinging to a cliff edge.
39:07This time,
39:08with a professional rescue team backing them up,
39:10nobody got hurt.
39:11I saw the headline pop on my phone,
39:13and grabbed Jace,
39:14and made him do three laps around the field with me.
39:16He finally dropped the casual front,
39:18knelt on the rubber track,
39:19and cried,
39:20and laughed for half an hour.
39:21I looked down,
39:22scrolled,
39:23a few headlines also popped out.
39:24Adler family declares bankruptcy.
39:26Patriarch sentence for hiring a hit.
39:28Murder for hire case takes a turn.
39:30Olivia Lindquist confesses she drugged Felix Adler,
39:32and handed him to men known to prey on young men.
39:35Love and revenge entangled.
39:37Felix Adler strangles Olivia Lindquist,
39:39in a psychiatric facility.
39:41Death penalty likely.
39:42Former child prodigy,
39:43Cole Lindquist,
39:44found dead at home.
39:45Suicide suspected.
39:46Hey,
39:47why aren't you comforting me?
39:49What are you reading?
39:49I gave up,
39:50took his hand.
39:51Comforting you?
39:52Not enough.
39:53What do you want?
39:54He leaned in.
39:56You?
39:58Shameless.
39:59Two months later,
40:00I was discharged.
40:01The doctor said it was a short blackout,
40:03caused by emotional overload.
40:04Jace and I got into the same university,
40:06just like we'd planned.
40:07In our free time,
40:08Jace put a lot of work into educating amateur climbers,
40:10about the dangers of snow mountains,
40:12and basic survival skills.
40:13The mountain rescue team we self-funded,
40:15was now up and running.
40:16And his parents,
40:17still the same firecrackers they'd always been.
40:19I'd thought about asking them to stop climbing.
40:21Jace and I both worried they'd lose their lives,
40:22saving someone again.
40:24Every time I tried,
40:24the light in their eyes shut me up.
40:26People need to love things,
40:28for forcing them to give it up,
40:29is its own kind of cruelty.
40:30Luckily.
40:31The fall,
40:32we turned 18.
40:33They saved the climber,
40:34clinging to a cliff edge.
40:35This time,
40:36with a professional rescue team backing them up,
40:38nobody got hurt.
40:39I saw the headline pop on my phone,
40:41and grabbed Jace,
40:42and made him do three laps around the field with me.
40:44He finally dropped the casual front,
40:46knelt on the rubber track,
40:47and cried,
40:47and laughed for half an hour.
40:49I looked down,
40:50scrolled,
40:50a few headlines also popped out.
40:52Adler family declares bankruptcy.
40:54Patriarch sentence for hiring a hit.
40:56Murder for hire case takes a turn.
40:58Olivia Lindquist confesses she drugged Felix Adler,
41:00and handed him to men known to prey on young men.
41:03Love and revenge entangled.
41:05Felix Adler strangles Olivia Lindquist,
41:07in a psychiatric facility.
41:09Death penalty likely.
41:09Former child prodigy Cole Lindquist,
41:12found dead at home.
41:13Suicide suspected.
41:14Hey,
41:15why aren't you comforting me?
41:16What are you reading?
41:17I gave up,
41:18took his hand.
41:19Comforting you?
41:20Not enough.
41:21What do you want?
41:22He leaned in.
41:24You?
41:26Shameless.
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