- 2 days ago
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00:02Friends are like stars.
00:05Even when you can't see them, you know they're still there.
00:09And Mike's star will continue to shine for all of us.
00:15Goodbye, Mike.
00:27Do you think we're meant to go on?
00:29Don't.
00:31I don't think we're meant to.
00:36Do we have to?
00:36Yeah.
01:00Do you think April needs saving?
01:03I talked to that man in the foyer and he was very, very boring.
01:06Yeah, probably.
01:08When I die, I don't want any of this truth bullshit.
01:11I only want superlatives.
01:13He was a risk taker.
01:15Always the coolest guy in the room.
01:17He was generous to a fault.
01:18You will need to say that one probably because no one will actually think that.
01:21You aren't going to die and you're my best friend ever.
01:24And if there was a flood, I would husk out my own mother's body and use it as a canoe
01:30to get you to safety.
01:31I appreciate that.
01:34Tomorrow!
01:37Tomorrow!
01:38Tomorrow!
01:41We are young.
01:43We are clean.
01:44We are clean.
01:44We are clean.
01:46We're clean.
01:47We are clean.
02:00Oh, no!
02:01No!
02:02No!
02:03Oh!
02:06Sorry, our friend died.
02:08Sorry.
02:09Shhh!
02:11Shhh!
02:12Wait, Daniel!
02:14You two, stay down here.
02:17I'll get it.
02:19I'll come down.
02:20Okay.
02:38What are you doing?
02:40Woah!
02:41Move your body!
02:43Move your body to the room!
02:45Move your body to the room!
02:46Move your body to the room!
02:48Move your body!
02:49Move your body to the room!
02:52Move your body!
02:53Ha!
02:54Oh!
02:57Hey.
02:59Hey.
02:59Thought you were a ghost.
03:00Did you think being in a crouched position would help you with that?
03:03Uh, yeah.
03:03I do find it sometimes helps.
03:06Very useful against ghosts.
03:07I didn't know you were living here again.
03:10I'm not.
03:10I just spoke up with Yanis.
03:12Oh.
03:14Who's Yanis?
03:15He is my ex.
03:17I'm doing my masters with him.
03:19I'm sorry.
03:20It's fine.
03:21He had the mean gene.
03:23Oh, well fuck him then.
03:25Aww.
03:26When did you get a dog?
03:27Hey.
03:28It's Nancy's dog.
03:28So cute.
03:30How is Nancy?
03:31Uh, she's thriving I would say since we divorced four years ago.
03:36Still walking her dog?
03:37Yeah.
03:38Well, I miss the dog more than I miss Nancy.
03:41Sorry mum didn't say you got a divorce.
03:44So you're with anyone now?
03:46Nope.
03:47No.
03:48Why is that?
03:49I like to think it's because women are intimidated by my boyish good looks.
03:52But, um, it's probably more to do with the fact that I find it hard to commit emotionally.
03:57And, um, I also use humour as a shield.
04:02Uh oh.
04:03And, uh, apparently I can be quite selfish and that comes from two different people.
04:08So, there's something I'm working on.
04:10A lot of reasons.
04:11Yeah.
04:12Many reasons.
04:14Are you sure you want to do that?
04:16Last time you got very anxious.
04:18I'll be fine.
04:19It won't be a big one.
04:23Steve's not really upset.
04:25I just feel like I should be there for him.
04:29You're such a good friend.
04:31I know, right?
04:33And you're the best of us friend.
04:39Maybe if we wake up early, we can have sex in the morning.
04:45Sounds good.
04:56I love you.
05:00Love you.
05:02Oh, Al.
05:03Could you close the door, please?
05:09What are you doing, Al?
05:11I'm getting a glass of water.
05:12You woke me up.
05:13Oh, look at you in your face.
05:15Oh, my sweet hair.
05:17Oh, my.
05:18Oh, my.
05:19Oh, my.
05:20Sorry.
05:20Sorry.
05:21Go back to bed.
05:22You've got to school tomorrow.
05:23Love you.
05:24If you only want one marshmallow, then you can actually-
05:26Found it!
05:29Found what?
05:31What are you doing here?
05:32What's happened?
05:33Uh, Yanis and I broke up.
05:36Yeah, I'm fine.
05:37I feel absolutely no way just to rip his head off and shit in his neck.
05:41Oh, great.
05:43I've decided he has borderline personality disorder.
05:46Sounds right.
05:47So, would it be okay if I moved back in, just for a couple of weeks?
05:50Of course!
05:51Yay!
05:52I mean, not, you know, not yay, but yay.
05:56Thanks.
06:00So, um, we were just about to go back to this thing, um, for Mike, a bunch of us, um,
06:07you know, telling stories about him and-
06:09But we totally-
06:10I mean, we don't have to go out if you'd like me to stay and keep you company.
06:15Yeah, I'd love for you to stay.
06:20I'm joking.
06:21I'm 26.
06:22I'll be fine.
06:23Okay.
06:23If you're sure.
06:24Yes, I'm sure.
06:25Yeah.
06:27Have fun.
06:34How old is this, Kurt?
06:35Uh, I don't know.
06:36I think you had the same egg in 2005.
06:39I'm gonna wait.
06:40For what?
06:42Oh, my God.
06:44Are you waiting to see if I die from the off coke?
06:47Yeah.
06:51I'll miss you.
06:54Our friend died.
06:55He was in his 50s.
06:56Do you think that's old?
06:57Yeah.
06:58We used to go out with each other.
06:59Long time ago.
07:00We've known each other for over 30 years.
07:02We went out at the hacienda.
07:04She was on the podium, giving it the other-
07:08These people you're standing with might be your best friends to your 50.
07:13How old do you think we are?
07:15I don't know.
07:16I'm like 60.
07:17Fuck you!
07:1860?
07:19We don't look 60!
07:20We don't look 60!
07:21They have no idea how cool we are.
07:25I'm a clothes designer.
07:26He invented the Nicole Richie Bobb.
07:28He's Steve Wilde.
07:30Steve Steve Wilde!
07:31Do you know the wild volume either?
07:33You think you're going to be cool when you're older?
07:36Most of you won't be!
07:37Won't be, won't be, might be, won't be, won't be.
07:41Won't be.
07:41Might be, won't be, will be.
07:44Are there any good jobs where people stand the whole time?
07:46Doctor.
07:47Yes.
07:47Doctor Stan.
07:48Yes.
07:48Poor traitors.
07:49Yes.
07:49Maybe I'll cut people's hair on a stool.
07:51No one's ever going to remember my unicorn!
07:52Not a manly job son!
07:53Your daddy's an arsehole!
07:58I wish I was in love.
07:59I wish I was in love and...
08:03and had a baby.
08:04Just have a...
08:05You can have a baby!
08:07Men can have babies till they're 90!
08:10Just have a baby!
08:11With who?
08:12There are billions of people out there, Steve.
08:14It's possible that you won't be one in your life.
08:17Anybody would be lucky to have you.
08:19Women our age can't have babies, so there you go.
08:22No baby for Steve.
08:23So get a younger one?
08:24I don't want a young...
08:25A younger one!
08:26Why not?
08:27Younger women are just...
08:28Older women, but younger.
08:30Oh, no.
08:31No, no, don't, Alice.
08:32No, don't.
08:33I'm not in the mood.
08:34No, I am!
08:35I'm not!
08:36I'm gonna find you someone to love.
08:39You deserve to be loved!
08:40No, I'm not even sure that I do.
08:43No, Alice don't.
08:45Please don't.
08:46Alice, don't!
08:54Sorry to bother you.
08:55Wow.
08:56Do you have a boyfriend?
08:58Um...
08:58No, but...
08:59I'm straight.
09:00Yeah, yeah, yeah.
09:00Me too.
09:01My friend over there...
09:03He's quite shy, but he's the best person in the world, and he's famous.
09:07He cuts out everybody's hair.
09:08He's done...
09:09Um...
09:09Emily Blunt with the eyelash.
09:11Uh...
09:11He invented the Shaggy Bob.
09:13You know, the Nicole Richie one.
09:15Uh...
09:15And he's also the sweetest, kindest man...
09:19Like ever.
09:20Mm.
09:21And he's got money.
09:22And I wondered if you'd...
09:23You wanted to talk to him?
09:29Okay?
09:30Really?
09:31Yeah?
09:31Okay!
09:33Yes!
09:35Yes!
09:36She wants to talk to you!
09:38No, I don't want to.
09:39No, she's too young.
09:40I can't.
09:40Why?
09:41I'm a 50-year-old man, and that's when I'm rounding down.
09:44No young woman wants a 50-year-old man creeping up their hair.
09:47They treat us like we're orcs.
09:49You are not an orc.
09:50I want you to go over there, and woo the shit out of her.
09:53That's not a nice phrase.
09:55And kiss her, and stay up all night with her.
09:58She'd be lucky to have you.
10:00Go on!
10:04Come on.
10:06Wait, wait, wait.
10:07Don't take Crosby.
10:07Memo and little dogs look gay.
10:09Oh.
10:11Look after Crosby.
10:16Hi.
10:17I'm Steve from over there.
10:18Hi, Camilla.
10:19Camilla.
10:20Hi.
10:21So, you cut hair?
10:22Well, I'm a hair stylist.
10:24I style hair.
10:25Oh.
10:25I don't cut hair.
10:26I style hair with scissors.
10:27Sorry.
10:28I don't know what I'm doing.
10:29I don't know why I'm doing a voice.
10:30It's not my voice.
10:31This is my voice.
10:31Yeah, you have a nice voice.
10:33Oh, thank you.
10:33You too.
10:55Hello.
10:58How may I help you?
11:01Are you Izzy's mum?
11:06Yes.
11:07Yes.
11:08I am indeed.
11:10I'm Mwan.
11:11I went to take form with her.
11:13You were always so hilarious, Mrs. Asher.
11:15Oh, thanks.
11:18Oh, that's so sweet.
11:20It's lovely to see you again, Mwan.
11:22Great to see you too.
11:32Do you know Willie Nelson?
11:34I've been learning Willie Nelson.
11:37Blue skies?
11:38No?
11:39No.
11:41Oh, you're a man.
11:43Oh yeah.
11:44Do you ever know this?
11:46Oh.
11:48What happened?
11:48We had nothing in common.
11:50How could you not know who the Bee Gees are?
11:52The Bee Gees?
11:55Where's Crosby?
11:59Crosby?
12:00Crosby?
12:00Oh, good.
12:01Crosby.
12:02Oh, oh, oh, oh.
12:02Oh shit!
12:03Wake up little baby.
12:04Wake up boy.
12:05What happened?
12:06What's he eating?
12:07Oh, shit!
12:09Oh, shit!
12:09What's he eating?
12:09Fucking hell, Alice.
12:10You did the course!
12:11Do mouth and mouth!
12:12Oh, come on do it!
12:13I'm doing it!
12:14I'm doing it!
12:14I'm doing it!
12:17Okay, tell me exactly what Crosby ingested.
12:25Pills for my heart.
12:26I have a heart condition.
12:28And what pills?
12:30It...
12:30Can you tell me specifically?
12:33Hmm.
12:34If I give Crosby the wrong medication, it could kill him.
12:36He ate cocaine.
12:37By accident.
12:37It may have been off.
12:42Bulkner's a really pretty name.
12:47What if they arrest us?
12:50We could say it wasn't our coke.
12:52It was just on the floor.
12:54I would rather go to jail than Crosby dying.
13:01Dogs can't eat chocolate, onion, grapes or class A drugs.
13:05You need to be more careful in future.
13:07I've given him some diazepam and there are a few extras here to give him if he gets distressed in
13:11the night.
13:14I'm so, so sorry.
13:16It's okay.
13:17It's fine.
13:18You can't have known that would happen.
13:21It was one of Crosby's eyes bigger than the other.
13:27Don't laugh.
13:27It's not funny.
13:28I know, I know.
13:30Have a look.
13:32No, it's the same.
13:33It's the same.
13:34I'm so sorry.
13:38It's okay, boy.
13:39It's okay.
13:40It's okay.
13:40Maybe we should both have one of Crosby's diazepam's.
13:44I'm...
13:44Oh, I'm joking.
13:46Give it to me.
13:52You need anything else?
13:53No.
13:55Okay, well, I'll be up for ages, so if you need anything, anything at all, even if Crosby's
13:59just upset, you just come and get me.
14:02Okay.
14:03Okay?
14:06I'm right here if you need me.
14:21Hello.
14:22Sorry.
14:22Fuck.
14:22Scary.
14:24I didn't see you.
14:25Sorry.
14:26Steve here, obviously.
14:27Yeah.
14:28Yeah, your mum said I could stay.
14:29It's been a bit of a big night.
14:31Why are you under the duvet like that?
14:34Yep, fair question.
14:37I noticed very briefly that you're not wearing trousers, so I thought this would be less awkward,
14:44but it was...
14:45Yeah.
14:46Yeah, maybe it isn't.
14:47Okay.
14:47Well, it's all right.
14:48Don't worry about it.
14:49I was just getting another drink.
14:50Do you want one?
14:53Yes, please.
15:01So, how bad was your day from one to ten?
15:04Oh, it was a strong eight.
15:08What about yours?
15:09Uh, yeah.
15:10Yeah, eight seems about right.
15:30So, why did Nancy break up with you?
15:33Oh, God.
15:34Um, okay, well, yeah, let's discuss this.
15:39Apparently, um, I didn't do anything, as in I only reacted, and also was a lazy fucker.
15:47According to her, it's not mine.
15:49Now, what about you?
15:53Um, he said that I was too emotional, and that I said sorry and I love you too much.
16:00What a shit you are.
16:02I know.
16:03How could you do that to him?
16:04Yeah.
16:05And the sad thing is, I didn't even really mean it.
16:08Like, I was just pretending to be nice and hiding all my dark shit.
16:14Clever move.
16:15I do that too.
16:16Definitely want to hide that.
16:20What was the final thing that pushed him over?
16:23I think I was talking about my wedding.
16:27Oh.
16:28Were you guys engaged?
16:30No.
16:31No.
16:31Um, I didn't even imagine him being there.
16:33I was mostly just thinking about the dress and the hair.
16:35Who were you marrying?
16:36No, really.
16:37I was just thinking about the dress and the hair.
16:41Well, if you ever need a stylist, free.
16:44Totally free.
16:51I can't believe you're single.
16:55If you'd seen me earlier tonight, you would absolutely believe I'm single and will always
16:59be single.
17:01I just, I hadn't noticed it before, but you are weirdly hot.
17:07Yeah.
17:10I'm not sure about the use of the word weirdly.
17:14Weirdly.
17:15Yeah.
17:17Maybe you have a weird smell.
17:19Probably.
17:20Apparently it's all about smells.
17:36Smell really nice.
17:38That's nice.
17:45Do I smell nice?
17:52Mmm.
18:17He never usually leaves this early.
18:23I can't bear it if he's angry with me.
18:25What?
18:25Why would he be angry with you?
18:30I left my bag on the floor and Crosby ate something out of it.
18:35Oh.
18:37No, I don't think so.
18:38I saw Crosby last night, seemed completely fine.
18:41And Steve's probably just a bit rattled about Mike and the funeral and stuff.
18:47You're right.
18:48Of course you're right.
18:49Oh.
18:50Oh.
18:53Ah.
18:54I laugh at your home.
18:56Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
18:57Is it, is it selfish that I'm so happy at your back?
18:59Yes.
19:00Yeah, you're right, of course I am.
19:02Sorry.
19:02Am I allowed to go and kill Yanis now?
19:04No.
19:07You do know I'd kill for you.
19:08Don't you?
19:09I'd happily smoosh his smug little face
19:15Ooh, maybe that's Steve
19:16Ooh
19:23Oh, hi
19:25I'm Rome
19:27Hi
19:27Hi
19:28Oh, your dom's fret
19:30Come in, come in
19:34My mum gets overly excited
19:36So I'd stick to yes or no answers if I were you
19:38And if she starts dancing, then look away
19:46Rome, would you be angry with me if I'd almost killed your dog?
19:53Yes
19:57I'm going to call Steve
20:09Hey, this is Steve Wilde
20:10Please leave a message
20:12Okay, call me
20:13I'm worried that you were tired
20:15And you pulled a towel too hard from your linen closet
20:17And you've been crushed underneath it
20:19Please don't hate me
20:20Love you
20:20Okay, bye
20:22Hey, this is Steve Wilde
20:23Please leave a message
20:25Okay, it's been over two days
20:26And now I'm worried that you're dead
20:28Can you just text me to say you're alive?
20:30Love you
20:31I love you
20:32Goodbye
20:35Do you love me?
20:39Yes, I love you
20:42And you trust me?
20:46I'm not sure
20:48Do you know me?
20:53You don't know me
20:56You can't trust me
21:00I don't know
21:08Oh
21:10Why are you not answering your phone?
21:13I know I shouldn't have come here
21:15But I'm finding it surprisingly hard to stop thinking about you
21:19I'm sorry
21:20I should never have
21:21Oh, don't apologize
21:22I mean, that was
21:24That was excellent sex
21:25Was it not?
21:27Did
21:27Did you like it?
21:30Yeah
21:30Yeah
21:31Very much
21:32Okay
21:33Very much
21:34But as good as it was
21:36We can
21:37We can never do it again
21:38No, yeah
21:39You're probably right
21:41You're right
21:42Yeah
21:44Good
21:44Good
21:45Yeah
21:50It was really good though
21:51Oh my god
21:52It was so good
21:52It was so good
21:53Some of those things I had never, ever tried before
21:56But we can't do them for your mum
21:57No, no, no, no
21:58I'm not saying we keep doing it
22:00I was just replaying it in my head
22:02A little bit
22:02Because of mum, right
22:03But we can't do it
22:04Because your mum is my guest friend
22:06So we never tell her
22:08Oh no
22:09No, no
22:10No, definitely not
22:11Yes
22:12I mean, yes
22:13No, we can't
22:14We definitely can't tell her
22:16Just out of interest
22:17If I wasn't her daughter
22:19Would you have
22:19Asked me out
22:25Yeah
22:28Okay
22:30Okay
22:31Where
22:32Where would you have taken me?
22:34To eat food
22:35I love eating food
22:37Do you?
22:38We have so much in common
22:39That's one of the things
22:39You would have experienced
22:40But unfortunately you can't
22:41Oh
22:41So
22:42Well, what's your favourite food?
22:43Italian
22:44Spaghetti vongole
22:45I love spaghetti vongole
22:47Really?
22:47Yes
22:48Favourite song?
22:50You won't even know the song
22:51You're too young
22:52But always must be crying
22:53Blue skies
22:55Willie Nelson
22:57Blue skies
22:58Shining at me
23:00Nothing but blue skies
23:03Do I see
23:12Tell me something
23:12I won't like about you
23:13Quick
23:13I hate swimming
23:14Well, I hate swimming too
23:15So that's not good
23:16I don't like football
23:17I loathe it
23:18I hate the cold
23:18I don't like the cold either
23:19You'd like the cold
23:20It's too cold
23:20I particularly like
23:21Being too hot either
23:22Ah, well
23:23I like the heat
23:25So we're not competitive
23:26Yeah, I know
23:28That's good
23:29That's good
23:37Someone's at the door
23:40Are you sure?
23:43Yes
23:45You should go open the door
23:46You should open it
23:48Go
23:50I'm going
23:59I'm very cross
24:00With you
24:01Now, let me in
24:02Because I come bearing gifts
24:07Um
24:09Why don't we go for a walk
24:10Leave this here
24:11And we'll go for a nice walk
24:12What do you mean walk?
24:13No, no walk
24:14Come on, fire up the telly
24:15I've got clothes for Crosby
24:16Wait till you see them
24:18I've got treats for you both
24:20Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait
24:24No
24:27What are you doing here?
24:30Are you trying to fix our fight?
24:35Oh, darling
24:35Oh, that's so sweet
24:38We're fine, aren't we?
24:39We're fine
24:40Mm
24:41Mm-hmm
24:42I slept with Steve
24:48Sorry?
24:50We, um
24:52We slept together
24:53The night that Steve stayed over at ours
24:56But it's not what you think
24:58I like him
24:59I actually really, really like him
25:01And I think he might like me
25:05And I know this must hurt, Mum
25:06I see that
25:08But
25:09I want to keep seeing him
25:16That's really funny
25:30So the Bears tested great with the under 60s
25:32But not so well with the H12s
25:35So we're going to go with the tangerine elastic
25:37And the peach sorbet base
25:42Sorry
25:44And we were thinking a lime green elastic
25:46To match the avocado
25:48That looks like a vagina
25:51It's an avocado
25:52I don't think anyone's ever confused
25:54An avocado with a vagina
25:56No, it's just a hole between two curblets
25:59Moving on
26:00So we're going to do two versions of this
26:02One with streamers
26:03One without
26:04Party time
26:05Party time
26:06Sorry
26:06Are you joking?
26:07Have a party in my pants
26:09Oh, hello
26:11I'm six
26:12But if you'd like to party in my pants
26:14That's fine
26:15Why do we even bother making pants?
26:17You know, they could just hang upside down
26:18On the monkey bars
26:19With their hoo-hahs hanging out
26:20Do you need a second, Alice?
26:23No, I'm good
26:26And if we do go with the Bears
26:28We might go a bit lighter on the Bear fur, though
26:30Even a hot pink
26:32Because people felt this was a bit too brown
26:35I'll be right back
26:36Sorry
26:45Hi, Al
26:46I'm so sorry
26:47You are a piggy-eyed
26:50Big-nosed
26:52Ugly fucking
26:53Pedo loser
26:54And I hope you fall out of your fucking window
26:57And get pierced in the heart by your railing
26:59And that no one comes to your funeral
27:11Which one of these says
27:13Sorry I had sex with your daughter?
27:15Yeah, maybe you should just write a letter
27:18A letter?
27:19Oh, God
27:20There's a lot of space to fill with a letter
27:21You could use bubble writing
27:24You're terrible people
27:26No
27:26No, I'm a terrible person
27:28But it's not like I'm 16
27:29I'm 26
27:30Half my age
27:31I've had tons of sex already
27:33Well
27:33That sounds really bad
27:34I've not had like
27:35I've not had like an insane amount of sex
27:37I've just
27:37I've had a
27:40Regular
27:41Amount of sex
27:43I'll be sure to mention that in the later
28:09There's some food left over if you want some
28:11I already ate
28:11Thanks
28:17Okay
28:18I know what I did was bad
28:19And I'm so sorry
28:21But can we at least talk about it?
28:26I'm just waiting till I'm a little less angry
28:34This is from Steve
28:36For you
28:55It was your best friend until a few weeks ago
28:59Daniel is 10 years younger than you
29:01So it's not that different
29:03Um
29:03I'm just going to
29:05Wait
29:09Okay
29:11Look
29:13Mum
29:14I know you're angry
29:15And you have every right to be
29:16And if you hate it, we'll stop
29:18You will
29:21But
29:22We really like each other
29:24Genuinely
29:27And
29:27You're my favourite person in the world
29:31So
29:31Can you just
29:32Can you just forgive me, please
29:34Mum
29:42Okay
29:48Okay
29:53Good night
30:04I want to push her tiny hand
30:06Into the disposal unit
30:10Can I maim her?
30:13No
30:13You know, if I tell them they can't see each other
30:15She'll revel in the drama, don't you?
30:19It'll be like Romeo and Juliet
30:20Oh, alas
30:21If only men could have been together
30:23It would have been the greatest love story
30:25I've given her to my hand
30:26I'm so sorry
30:32I blame her father
30:35Stupid dog shit weasel of a man
30:37He didn't know the difference between right and wrong either
30:39I'm not sure you can blame a man
30:41You only had sex with her twice
30:42What do you think they even talk about?
30:44I have no idea
30:46Can you imagine him going for dinner in Richmond
30:48And going to bed at 9.45
30:50Or him going to parties
30:52And hanging out with Trey and Zuli
31:04Izzy, can I come in?
31:08Um
31:12You're right
31:14We can't just ignore this
31:16It's happening
31:17So we might as well
31:20Accept it
31:23Really?
31:25Yep
31:27Mum
31:28Thank you
31:29It's really generous of you
31:31And in the spirit of generosity
31:33I think you should invite him for dinner
31:39What?
31:41It's not too soon
31:42No
31:43I think we should rip the band-aid off
31:45Just normalise it
31:47As quickly as possible
31:53You should invite some of your friends too
31:55It'll make it less uncomfortable
32:05Good
32:06With that confident lingering
32:15Oh
32:16Sorry
32:17I just need to make a phone call
32:25Hey
32:26Everything okay?
32:27I'm actually just in a lesson
32:28I'm buying food for tonight
32:30What do you feed a man
32:31Who's fucked your daughter?
32:33Yeah
32:33Um
32:35I'll make a lasagna
32:36Okay
32:37Or something
32:37Yeah
32:38Yeah
32:38Alright
32:39Gotta go
32:39Bye
32:42Sorry about that
32:43Um
32:43Okay
32:44Let's go again
32:44Great
32:45Great
32:48Sorry to interrupt
32:49Hey
32:49I was just wondering
32:51Whether you wanted to come on
32:52The Antwerp Orchestra trip
32:53Miss Garstine can't come
32:54Because of her fibroids
32:55Uh sorry
32:55I don't
32:56I don't do trips
32:56Why not?
32:59Should we talk about this another time?
33:01Oh Vivit doesn't care
33:02Do you Vivit?
33:07I'm
33:07I'm the main
33:09Caregiver at home
33:10Also
33:10It's two nights
33:11Can she not manage two nights?
33:13She works
33:13You work
33:16Uh
33:16She's the main breadwinner
33:17So
33:18So
33:18Does she make you sleep in a dungeon
33:19Chained to the wall
33:20With a ball gag in your mouth as well?
33:27Okay
33:27Well
33:28Um
33:29If you change your mind
33:30Let me know
33:31It's time
33:37Right
33:38Let's
33:38Let's
33:39Let's go again
33:55It's gonna be fine
33:56Exactly
33:57Huff
33:57Let me know what to date
33:58Your mum's best friend
34:02Hello
34:07Is he here yet?
34:08No
34:09Not yet
34:09Mum
34:13I was so sorry to hear about Janice
34:17It's Janice
34:18And I'm glad he's gone
34:19Thanks Granny
34:20Nice to see you
34:23Oh
34:24It's Steve
34:26I'm gonna go pick him up
34:27He knows his way here
34:29He's been here a thousand times
34:30Yeah I know
34:30I just like to pick him up
34:32That's all
34:36Isn't this all terribly exciting?
34:47You do realise this is probably a trap
34:50Or she could be trying to work it out
34:52Yeah
34:54Yeah
34:55No you're right
34:55This is definitely a trap
34:57Yeah
34:59Do you think Daniel's gonna punch me?
35:02Right
35:03As if Daniel would ever punch anyone
35:07Maybe we could show her that this is a good thing
35:09I like her best friend
35:10I like her best friend
35:11And how nice that she already really really loves the guy I'm dating
35:14Hmm
35:16Yeah
35:20You nervous?
35:23Yeah
35:25Terrified
35:41God he is so old
35:43He looks like my dad
35:48Hiya
35:49Darling
35:50Darling
35:50Does that mean that I'm in with the chance too?
35:53You could do all three generations
35:56A wonderfully friend job you
36:00Lovely to see you again, Val
36:02After a new
36:14I'm so so sorry
36:19So thoughtful
36:25Why don't you go and join the kids?
36:30I don't want you to think that I don't know how bad this is
36:37I'll do whatever it takes to get us back to us
36:40There's wine in the fridge
36:48Do you want some?
36:50No thank you
36:51Uh yes sir
36:52Do you want some wine?
36:55Yes please
37:02Hiya I'm Steve
37:03Uh Zuli
37:04Trey
37:05Hi
37:06And Nelson
37:07Nelson
37:08Ah cool
37:10Just fisting each other
37:12Fist bumping
37:13Fist bumping
37:17How do you guys know each other?
37:19School
37:21School
37:23School
37:24Cool
37:26Cool
37:26Cool
37:30Dinner
37:33Right
37:33Steve
37:34Why don't you sit at the top of the table
37:37With Trey and Zuli
37:39Nelson
37:40You go on Trey's other side
37:42Daniel will go on Zuli's
37:44Mum
37:44You go next to Nelson
37:45Yeah I believe
37:47Izzy you're next to Dan
37:48And then Dom and Rome
37:49You're at the end here
37:50With me
37:51Nelson
37:53Oh
37:54Hi
37:54Wow
37:56Hmm
37:56So does this mean that you two are an item?
37:59No
37:59Mum
38:01Sorry
38:02Older people seem to be really interested in defining things
38:05When you're young you realise that life is fluid and defining something only limits
38:09it
38:10Hmm
38:10Hmm
38:13So sweet
38:14Nice
38:17So sweet
38:18Nice
38:18Good
38:18Good
38:19Good
38:21So Trey
38:23Haven't you just graduated from medical school?
38:25Yeah
38:26Yeah
38:26What was your speciality?
38:28Surgery
38:30Wow
38:30Yeah
38:31Surgery
38:32Oh gosh
38:33That's
38:34Very impressive
38:35Thank you
38:36Are you seeing anyone?
38:37Yeah
38:38Yeah I am
38:38She's a junior doctor
38:39So it means we only get about 15 minutes together a week
38:42But it's so lovely that you'll be in the same profession
38:45It's such a lot of common ground
38:48Yeah
38:50Yeah
38:50Yeah no it's really nice
38:53Steve
38:54What did you study at university?
38:56I didn't go to uni
38:57Actually
38:59I
38:59I had already gotten into the whole hair thing
39:02Yeah and it's so much better to have a trade
39:03Like I don't see why anyone still goes to uni
39:05There are probably more psychologists than there are patients
39:08So yeah I wish I had a proper technical skill
39:13How did you get into hairdressing?
39:15Hairstyling
39:22My mum gave me a terrible haircut
39:24I was meant to be going on my first date
39:25And she literally did the bowl thing you know
39:28Put a bowl on my head
39:30And then trace around the shape of the bowl
39:32But she misjudged the size of the bowl
39:34Too small a bowl
39:35And I ended up looking like a medieval monk
39:38Not a hot monk, just a monk
39:41I had to fix it
39:42Or be shamed forever
39:43But after that
39:44All the other boys wanted the Steve haircut
39:52Steve's father
39:53He hates that he cuts hair
39:55He thinks he's gay
39:56Mum
39:57You can't say that
39:59Sorry Steve
39:59Sorry
40:00No it's true
40:02Look I met his dad
40:05Tons of times
40:06Because when we were going out with each other
40:11He was an utter dick
40:14No Steve hated him too didn't you?
40:16God he was all so worried about his mum
40:18I mean that's why he never got married
40:19Mum?
40:20Christ
40:21What?
40:22He did get married
40:23To Nancy
40:24Remember?
40:26I meant successfully
40:33Christ
40:33I'd forgotten to get it
40:35I'll get any dessert
40:35I'll be right back
40:36I'll help you
40:36Hang on
40:38You haven't finished your first course yet
40:40It's okay though
40:41You don't want to
40:42I'll help
40:47I'm really sorry about all of this Daniel
40:52I really like her though
40:53I like her very much
40:54Which one?
40:57Is he?
41:02Get the multi-pack of mini magnums?
41:05Yeah
41:05So you've got more choice?
41:11How long have you liked her?
41:14It just happened
41:15You weren't thinking about her when
41:17We had a holiday in Portugal
41:19And all those Christmases in Norfolk?
41:20No
41:20God no
41:21No
41:23Never
41:27Please
41:28Hello
41:29Please
41:33Hello
41:37It's 2375
41:47I think it's beautiful
41:53I think it's beautiful
41:54Speaking of
41:55Oh
41:57God
41:57You went
41:58You went
41:59I said oh that was interesting
42:01And then you thought
42:02Hi
42:03Hi
42:03Hi Izzy
42:06Your granny likes to drink
42:07Yeah
42:14He's great
42:15Isn't he?
42:16What do you think?
42:17Yeah
42:17Do you like him?
42:18Yeah he's really nice
42:23He's probably just been nervous really
42:24Isn't he?
42:25He would be nervous if you'd fucked your girlfriend's mum
42:28Shut up
42:29Sorry
42:31Hmm
42:33Hmm
42:43Don't be too upset darling
42:45It's what men have done since the beginning of time
42:49Your father was the same
42:51Your father was the same
42:52Why can't you just be sympathetic?
42:53Why do you also have to make a joke?
42:54It's not a joke mum
42:56She's not some random young woman
42:59She's my daughter
43:00And Steve's not your husband
43:03He's your ex-boyfriend
43:05Who's probably been in love with you for ages
43:07And is this the closest thing he can get?
43:10I'm a younger model
43:11I mean if anything
43:13It's a compliment darling
43:16It's not a compliment
43:17It's disgusting
43:20Male desire can be very blinding
43:26Oh goody
43:28Magnums
43:43Yes
43:44Let's play Trivial Pursuit
43:46Oh
43:47I might sit this one out
43:50Terrible like Trivial Pursuit
43:51I can never remember anything
43:52Hopefully that things you never knew
43:56Let's play in pairs
44:01Geography or history?
44:04You choose
44:06History
44:08In what year in England in the 1970s were the lights turned off?
44:12I can never get these English ones
44:14I want to say 74
44:1674
44:1772
44:18It was because of the miners' strike
44:21It's so unbelievable that you all just used coal all the time
44:24It's like how do people not know?
44:27Steve doesn't believe in recycling
44:29How do you not believe in recycling?
44:31No I do
44:32I believe in recycling
44:34You always say that it costs more money to recycle than to not
44:37No, no, no, no, no
44:38I think recycling is very cool
44:41What I may have said at one time
44:44Was that sometimes it feels a little redundant
44:47When China's not doing anything
44:49Oof
44:49That's a bit racist
44:50No, no, no, he didn't mean it like that
44:52Just because it's a
44:52Who's our turn is it now?
44:54Who's our turn is it now?
44:54Who's our turn is it now?
44:55Oh, it's Os
44:56Is it racist?
44:57Is it right?
44:59Alright
45:00Entertainment
45:03Don't think it was racist
45:04What Oscar upset shocked the world in 2017?
45:11A first female director
45:16They announced the wrong film
45:17La La Land thought they got it but it was actually Moonlight
45:21Moonlight's a classic
45:23Can it be a classic?
45:25Yeah
45:26I love that film
45:27Steve walked out
45:29Said it felt like a student film
45:31I did not walk out
45:33I loved Moonlight
45:34I was crying
45:35Steve's favourite film is
45:37Husbands and Wives
45:38He loves Woody Allen
45:41What?
45:42Steve thinks he's innocent
45:45Hold on
45:45No, I never said that
45:48I never said that
45:49I said that we can't know for sure if he's guilty
45:52That's different
45:53You never know what's going on in people's personal lives
45:56And the press can distort stories
45:59So that's all I said
46:00It's your turn now
46:01Oh
46:06Science and Nature
46:07Yeah
46:08How can you love Woody Allen?
46:12Well
46:13His films are great
46:14You know Annie Hall
46:16And Husbands and Wives
46:18No, I've never seen any of them
46:21You guys must have seen Woody Allen films
46:23No
46:23Fuck no
46:28Disgusting
46:31Okay
46:32Okay, I just want to be clear
46:34I have worked with some celebrities
46:37And I've seen first hand how the press can distort a story
46:40Like what?
46:41Well I'm not going to bring any up
46:42But I see it all the time
46:44No, come on
46:45Give us an example
46:52Okay
46:53Okay
46:54If I tell you this
46:55You may never ever ever repeat it
46:59Because Celia Mills is the nicest person I've ever met
47:03She's an inspiring woman
47:04Who's Celia Mills?
47:05Oh, she's the...
47:06You know the villain in the James Bond film?
47:08The one with the...
47:08Yeah, she was in the Spike Jonze video
47:09Yeah
47:10She was dancing at the petrol station
47:11You'd recognise her
47:12You'd recognise her
47:28You'd recognise her
47:35And she got it into this twisted smile
47:43She wasn't jealous
47:47She'd shat herself
47:49She'd eaten a dodgy prawn mousse at the nominee's lunch
47:52I rushed in with a towel
47:54Oh
47:55Covered her up
47:56We made out like she'd torn her dress
47:58It was a mess
47:59It was a mess
48:00She was mortified
48:01I was the only person who knew
48:03I've never told anyone this
48:06Wait, wait, who else do you do?
48:08Amy of Sex Education
48:10Dua Lipa
48:11Jessie J
48:11Charlie XZX
48:13Anyone with letters as a name
48:14But cutting someone's hair is...
48:17It's a really intimate thing
48:19You know?
48:20It is
48:21I feel like
48:23They've given me their trust
48:24And while I try to give them back
48:27It's just the confidence in themselves
48:29To get up there and do what they dreamed of doing
48:34You know?
48:35It's not just...
48:36It's not just the liberties
48:37It's the same for the...
48:38For the homeless people who help out on the weekends
48:41With the grooming stuff
48:43If I can give someone
48:45Just a little bit of self-confidence
48:47A little bit of self-respect
48:49That the world is constantly trying to take from them
48:52Sorry
48:54Sorry
48:59Sorry
48:59I just have to borrow Steve for a moment
49:02Won't be long
49:02So just...
49:04Carry on without us
49:12They loved you
49:13Knew they would
49:15Where are we going?
49:16No we have to go...
49:17We have to go down
49:18We have to go back down
49:19We have to go back down
49:21Sorry
49:22Because you are so attractive
49:23It is a medical imperative
49:25That I kiss you right now
49:28We should go back down
49:29Mum will be going out of it
49:31Why?
49:32She can wait
49:32She just spent the whole evening blessing you
49:34I think
49:36It's only fair
49:37That we...
49:39Torture her a little bit
49:47In Egyptian hieroglyphs
49:49The symbol of the decorated eye
49:51Most commonly depicts the eye of which god?
49:54Um...
49:54Horus son of...
49:55Osiris and Isis
49:56That's absolutely correct
49:57You know...
49:59Everything
49:59I know
50:00I do
50:01What number am I thinking of?
50:05Seven
50:15Here we go
50:18Edison's electric pen
50:20Became the inspiration for which modern day tool?
50:24The tattoo gun?
50:26Yeah
50:30Sorry um
50:31Are you both completely fucking stupid?
50:32So um
50:33You honestly think
50:35It's okay to go
50:36To go upstairs
50:40And have sex
50:41Mum
50:41In my house
50:43We didn't
50:44She's only sleeping with you
50:45Because she got dumped two minutes ago
50:46She clearly has some weird
50:48Daddy complex
50:49About her absent father
50:51And he's only sleeping with you
50:53Because he's this bad old man
50:55And you probably remind him of me
50:58Which is...
50:59Oh fuck yeah
51:01Wow
51:07Wow that's really lovely mum
51:09Thanks
51:10So there's nothing he likes about me?
51:15Okay
51:16Let's go
51:16Let's just...
51:17Yeah
51:20He's not...
51:21He's not even...
51:22Good at sex
51:23Let's...
51:23That's why I broke up with him
51:25Yeah but...
51:25Because he was
51:26Shit in bed
51:28He's amazing at sex
51:29I love having sex with him
51:30Let's all calm down
51:31Phew
51:32Daniel to the rescue
51:33Oh why didn't I think of that?
51:35What we need to do
51:36Is not say
51:37Or do
51:39Anything at all
51:40Oh that's perfect
51:41Oh stop
51:42Everyone's upset
51:43And...
51:44Are you asking...
51:45Coward!
51:46Daniel!
51:47Why are you saying anything?
51:48What?
51:49Because she's not your kid
51:50She doesn't count
51:51She doesn't count
52:20That was really great
52:25Well...
52:35That was incredibly mean
52:38Now sometimes Alice
52:40Your impulsivity
52:40Is so selfish
52:42It's...
52:43It's like you don't realise
52:45The rest of us
52:45Are making any effort
52:46At all
52:48I've been invited
52:49To go on a school trip
52:50To Antwerp
52:52I think I'm going to go
53:05If you want to go
53:12I don't know
53:13If you want all of
53:14To Antwerp
53:14To Antwerp
53:15I can't help
53:15To Antwerp
53:19To Antwerp
53:20To Antwerp
53:59Hi, Jane.
54:01Sorry to call so late.
54:03I just wondered, are you still working on the news desk?
54:08I've got a celebrity story for you.