- 2 days ago
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00:00We've never been like a family that talks about everything the big reason for that was like when Joshua died
00:06It was such a tragic experience that like talking about it
00:10Around mom specifically just was too heavy
00:15It's the first time I'm hanging out with Ethan post breakup. I don't like you behind me
00:20Tegan is definitely blowing them off. I don't understand that
00:25So how was the day get everything's good Zach and I have had time now to spend together more and
00:31more
00:31And so if I need to talk with a guy Zach is a guy I can go to
00:37I'm on a road trip right now
00:39Ethan just moved to Wisconsin and Christmas Day
00:43Ethan calls and he spent the day in his car at a park waiting and hoping
00:50For Tegan to show up. It worries me to me kind of feels like a red flag
01:04Not that one not that one
01:10That's so cute
01:13Finally after two days 16 hours of driving I am pulling into Ethan's driveway
01:20Ethan is not home from work yet, but he tells me the code to get in and says go in
01:25and see the house
01:35Nice
01:39The table I brought is gonna fit perfectly there I think oh he's got an upstairs
01:48Ethan has a very little stuff in there. He's got some blankets on the floor and that's it
01:55Okay, yeah
01:57He needs some stuff
02:12Hi
02:13Hi
02:14Hi
02:14Good to see you
02:15I moved your car so I go park in the driveway
02:16Oh, okay
02:17On the street
02:17Okay
02:18Yeah, I didn't know what time you were coming so I thought I would just start unloading
02:22My mom
02:24I came up to Wisconsin with the load of household items
02:30So you brought a lot of stuff
02:32I did
02:32Can we unload it now?
02:34Sure
02:34I definitely think my mom driving all the way up is definitely a way that she shows love
02:42Oh, nice
02:43I've got everything for his dining room his kitchen linens stuff for the rest of the house everything I can
02:51find
02:51I even have a fire pit
02:56That's everything
03:00Yay
03:04Well, that's pretty good
03:05I'm not really concerned that he'll scare Tegan off by doing too much because he's already doing too much by
03:13just moving up there
03:14She's either gonna, you know, accept that or turn away from it
03:20Are you guys, like, back together? Is everything fine?
03:26No
03:26Are you taking it slow, being friends first? Like, or you don't know yet?
03:40Did you hear me say that?
03:42Like, with Tegan, are you guys back together? Is everything okay? You working through stuff? Are you just friends for
03:48a while? Or you don't know yet?
03:51I'm trying to communicate more with my children
03:56No, everything's okay. Well, I mean, we're not back together
04:00I didn't think she would, we'd just get back together if I moved here, you know, it'll take time, but
04:04that's okay
04:05Are you, like, you're just, you're friends right now?
04:08Yeah
04:10Well, that's good
04:11Yeah
04:13I mean
04:20I think Ethan is making decisions based on emotion, not so much logic
04:27Um, I mean, that's okay
04:30But hopefully some logic will creep in at some point
04:38You putting that away in there?
04:41It's possible that Ethan could get really hurt in this because he really does love Tegan
04:45I feel like he needs to figure out if that door is still open or if it's closed forever
04:51I think the last time that Ken and I broke up, we were just friends
04:56And we just decided to just be friends
04:59And then that lasted for a while, a few months
05:03And then we realized that we loved each other and we've been together ever since
05:08Mm-hmm
05:12So, I mean, friendship is definitely a good solid foundation
05:16Yeah
05:18Yep
05:26She's my mom and she's real curious about, you know, how I'm doing and how Tegan's doing
05:33And what our relationship is looking like, you know
05:35But, if I tell her something, you know, she might tell the rest of the family
05:40Like a deep personal thing that maybe I'm struggling with her, how I'm feeling
05:44I want to be respectful of Tegan and how she's feeling
05:49I don't really know, but I would assume she's giving it time to see what I do, you know
05:56For all she knows, I could move up here and be here for a month
06:00And be like, well, I haven't seen or heard from her
06:02So, screw this, I'm gonna go back to Georgia
06:04And then she'd be like, I knew it
06:08Anyway, I'm gonna head back to the hotel and get some sleep
06:11I appreciate it
06:12So
06:13Yeah, I would let you stay here, but I don't have a bed
06:15No, you're good, I like beds
06:32Today, me and Kaelin are going down to play games with Zach and Lydia and hang out a little bit
06:36I want to be able to make them feel like they're cared for because they are family
06:40And I want to make it a point to be able to see them
06:45Oh, it's already open
06:47Hello
06:48Hi, come in
06:49The door's already open, sorry
06:51It's already open
06:52Hi, I like your jacket
06:54Oh, thank you
06:55There's no hard feelings there, I don't believe, at least on my end
06:58How's it going? How's it going? How's it going? How you been?
07:00Good
07:01How you doing, Zach? Good to see you
07:09Alright, we'll put the pizza over here
07:11Yeah
07:11Chow down
07:13Thanks for bringing it
07:14Hey, I have the same rug in my room
07:16Really?
07:16Just like three times bigger
07:17Yeah
07:18Nice
07:19How was the Montana trip for you guys?
07:24That was really fun
07:26Trying to think of what happened, yeah
07:31It would have been really cool to experience Montana with the whole group
07:34But it was very quick
07:36Yeah
07:36Of a plan and we were like
07:38Well, we can't get off work anyway
07:40So even if we were invited
07:41I don't think we would have been able to go
07:42But we actually have another trip planned for later
07:45That we're super excited about, so
07:50Horseback riding was really fun
07:51I mean, we were at the lodge
07:52And we had like almost a whole lodge to ourselves
07:54Yeah
07:55And it was like all these separate cabins and buildings
07:57So it was fun
07:59Gotcha
08:00If Zach and Lydia were upset at all about not going to Montana
08:03I was not inviting people
08:05Because I was invited, you know
08:06We don't have any paper plates, so
08:08We're bringing out the fine china
08:10Literally
08:11Go ahead and dig in
08:12I mean, I'm going down this
08:13Go for it
08:14Let's do it
08:14Dig in, dig in
08:16Dig in
08:18What's this game?
08:20I got the game from a friend and I've never played it
08:22So we'll see
08:23Maybe it'll be fun
08:24Maybe it won't
08:25Try to match the answer to your partners
08:27So whatever they do, try to match it
08:30Best, funniest, most creative answers wins
08:33What is our fiercest ongoing debate?
08:36Oh no
08:37I feel like we agree on so much
08:46One, two, three
08:48With babies?
08:49Yep
08:52Can I show?
08:55We debate about this all the time
08:57Who is more competitive?
08:59I didn't write anything
09:00I don't know
09:03We debate about who is more competitive all the time
09:06Well, who is the most competitive between you two?
09:10She says she is
09:12But that's because we just get to see the rage from her all the time
09:15So it looks like she's the most competitive
09:16But that's because I beat her all the time
09:18And you know that's the truth
09:19You know that's the truth
09:20Not all the time
09:20Not all the time
09:21But it's 90% of the time
09:22So for that, Z and L get one point
09:27Alright, next one
09:28Same point
09:29It's another match
09:31If we were a horse and a cowboy
09:33Who would ride who?
09:40I feel like these were
09:41Can we just skip over some of these questions?
09:43I feel like some of these were shuffled to the top
09:50Why are you looking at me like that?
09:51Why are you looking at me like that?
09:56I think I can come with better questions than these
10:00Okay, I'm curious what the rest of these cards are like
10:04I'm not
10:07Ethan invited me over to see his house
10:11I haven't seen him since Montana
10:13He doesn't call me
10:15So he's like living there without making any effort
10:18It's just really weird
10:21Ethan Plath
10:24You can't stand the heat, get out of the sauna
10:26You don't realize you're in the presence of the Plath Daddy
10:30Oh dear
10:32I will never call you that
10:35That's for sure
10:44If we were a horse and a cowboy
10:47Who would ride who?
10:51Okay, I'm curious what the rest of these cards are like
10:54I'm not
10:58I mean, I'm curious about this one though
11:03So one of you guys is the horse and one of you guys is the rider
11:08I'm ready
11:10Are we ready?
11:21I was the cowboy and he's the horse
11:28I was thinking because I like if I was to carry her if one of us had to carry the
11:33other I would carry her because she can't really carry me that's all I was thinking
11:39Yeah
11:39Because I carry you everywhere
11:40Yeah, that's what I was gonna say
11:42We got the same answer so we get a point
11:44Oh my gosh
11:45I think Isaac and Kaylin are so sweet together
11:47Yeah
11:48Yeah
11:48They really do compliment each other well
11:50Kaylin's really sweet
11:51Isaac's
11:52Yeah, he's really awesome
11:54I feel like they really balance each other out
11:55So it's awesome
11:56Mm-hmm
11:56Alright, Match
11:57What is the craziest thing we've ever done?
12:00Oh
12:01Y'all have a lot of stories
12:03Craziest thing we've ever done?
12:05Craziest thing
12:06I know exactly what it is
12:07What's a more family-friendly answer?
12:14Kaylin, just think in the past
12:17The last time I was here I actually helped fix their bed because their bed was broken within a week
12:23I was like right after they got married but I just was like okay I'm gonna fix the bed and
12:28not think about it
12:32There's no, nothing comes close
12:36Lydia went to kiss me and I, did I slip?
12:40Yeah you slipped and fell on top of me and it broke like the support beam under the bed
12:52Crazy what happens when you're just trying to be romantic
12:57Isaac's working on the bed
12:58Are y'all ready?
13:00Mm-hmm
13:00Ready?
13:01Yep
13:01Set, go
13:03Skydiving?
13:03Skydiving
13:04Yay
13:05Kaylin and Isaac should go skydiving
13:07They should
13:10We should take them skydive
13:11The four of us
13:12That's what we should do
13:13We should go skydiving
13:20I said climb a mountain
13:21Oh my gosh
13:25We did use to swim in a lake full of gators
13:28Swim in a lake full of gators
13:34We've come a long way with Lydia and Zach and my family and me personally
13:38I've definitely made it clear to them that any way I acted towards them that hurt them that I'm truly
13:44sorry for and I hope we can continue to improve
13:48But it goes both ways
13:49They have some work to do too
13:51I mean there's definitely room for improvement
13:53Maybe they're kind of high up on their stool
13:56But you know that's between them and God
13:58All right
13:59Next one is another match
14:16Ethan invited me over to see his house
14:19He's lived there about three weeks I think
14:22I haven't seen him since Montana
14:24Besides just Christmas when he picked up a plate of food from my family
14:31He doesn't call me on nights I'm free
14:34He doesn't ask me if I want to do something
14:36So he's like living there without making any effort
14:40It's just really weird
14:49I mean obviously I'm excited to see his house
14:52So I feel like that's a good first start
14:58Ethan Plath
15:00Oh
15:02Oh he's coming
15:06Hi
15:07Hi
15:07Oh
15:09You didn't want to let me in or what?
15:11No I was going to the bathroom
15:12Oh
15:13Perfect timing I guess
15:16You had me out there so long
15:18Jesus Christ I had to bang like the cops
15:23Can I get a tour?
15:25Sure
15:29This is the kitchen
15:30Oh that's very nice
15:33It's kind of small
15:34I mean like the whole house is kind of small
15:36Yeah you don't need anything big right?
15:38I got some dishes
15:41I have cups now
15:42My mom brought cups and plates and stuff
15:44Oh very nice
15:46And
15:47Yeah and then the basement is down there
15:51Interesting
15:51You like my little coffee pot?
15:54It's really little
15:55Yeah
15:57Guess it's perfect for one person right?
16:01I like the backyard
16:04Yeah
16:06I got a house for a reason because
16:08I want to have family and I want to have that family with Tegan
16:12Whether it's this house or not
16:14I didn't want to just get an apartment you know
16:17But that's my intention behind it
16:20This is the only bathroom in the house
16:21That's the only downside
16:23But
16:25I like it
16:25That's your shampoo and conditioner?
16:28Yeah, is that bad?
16:30No, interesting
16:31What is it like strictly a women's?
16:34I didn't say that
16:35I think you did
16:36I did not say that
16:38This is my bedroom
16:43Interesting kind of bed
16:44I think I've been
16:47Moved into the house for like two weeks
16:50Slowly acquiring things
16:51But it's hard
16:52You work all day and you go home and you just want to lay down
16:56I have a bed coming
16:57It's just
16:58Not here yet?
16:59Yeah, it's not here yet
17:02Interesting
17:03The non-existent bed
17:06Is a little crazy
17:09I...
17:09It's Ethan Plath
17:11I mean it makes sense
17:13He has slept some very weird places before
17:17With much less, so
17:21Yeah
17:24You wanna make brownies?
17:28Um...
17:29You can...
17:29You can make brownies
17:33Have you ever made brownies before?
17:35I made them one time with you
17:38We did?
17:39When?
17:42Uh...
17:42At Grandma's?
17:45That would add up
17:46That would make sense
17:48Oh, 325
17:49Are you gonna poison them?
17:53No
17:55That's not funny
17:56Why is that not funny?
18:03I thought it was funny
18:05Oh, I threw my directions away
18:08I got
18:09Ingredients make brownies
18:11Because Tegan
18:12Really likes brownies
18:14He makes them pretty often
18:15Now it says
18:16A quarter cup of water
18:17A third of a cup of oil
18:19And one egg
18:21Unfortunately, I didn't realize
18:22I didn't have a measuring cup
18:23And I didn't even think about that
18:24Until I started cooking
18:26What if I just eyeballed it?
18:29Yeah, you can do that
18:31I guess
18:33Nah, I'm just...
18:35I'm an idiot
18:35A quarter cup would probably be like tea here
18:38You think about there?
18:39Yeah, I guess
18:44I would say him
18:46Moving to Wisconsin
18:48And getting a house
18:48Is a step in the right direction
18:52I think that's a quarter cup
18:54I'm sort of waiting to just see what he does
18:57Cause like, you know, he moved
18:58Which is, that's nice, that's good
19:00But anybody, you know, he doesn't have any responsibilities
19:03So he can move wherever he wants
19:06So just sort of seeing what he does
19:09How long he stays
19:10You know, if he'll stay
19:12That kind of stuff
19:18Well...
19:26Don't really have anywhere to sit down and like hang out
19:29Well, there's the couch
19:30Yeah, that's small
19:46Hello
19:48I haven't seen Kim since
19:50Zach and Lydia's wedding
19:52How are you doing?
19:53Tegan is here and it just feels a little bit awkward
19:57I'm assuming you guys are friends and just friends
20:00I would say we're, we're working our way to friends
20:04Yes, I'd say maybe like a step under that at the moment
20:06I feel like Ethan has a lot of baggage to work through after his first marriage
20:12She needs to see some growth, some maturity, some communication skills
20:31Is your car doing good?
20:33So far so good
20:35The transmission still holding up?
20:37Well, I got a flat tire, I don't know if I told you that
20:40Yeah
20:44Someone's here
20:44Hello
20:46Can I come in?
20:47How are you doing?
20:48Good, how are you?
20:49It's cold out there
20:50Yeah, it's cooled down a little bit
20:52Yeah
20:53I got to drive a little bit in the snow
20:55Hi
20:56I haven't seen Kim since
21:00Zach and Lydia's wedding
21:01I went to that thrift store today
21:03I got some chairs
21:05So what are you guys up to?
21:06Oh, I showed her the house and I tried to make brownies
21:09Can you smell the brownies?
21:11Um, no
21:12No?
21:13At least they're not burnt
21:15Not yet
21:21I get to Ethan's and Tegan is here
21:23And it just feels a little bit awkward
21:26Maybe it's the furniture arrangement
21:29We want to bring the chairs in now?
21:31Yeah, we could do that
21:34It's just
21:34They're both just kind of sitting
21:38Um
21:40It just looks awkward
21:41It feels awkward
21:51Clothes, please
21:53Well, I'm going to run to the store
21:56Okay
21:56Okay
21:57I want to get like a little green leaf thing
22:00to go on the table
22:03Okay
22:04Because it doesn't all look white
22:06We don't know what that is
22:07but I guess we'll see when you
22:10come back
22:11I wanted to go get
22:13a few things
22:15and also give my mom and Tegan some time to spend together
22:21What do you think they're going to talk about?
22:23I don't know
22:24I don't know what girls talk about
22:25whenever girls have girl talk
22:26I've never been in a room
22:29Yeah, I really like the house
22:31It is really nice
22:32Do you see the deck too?
22:34It's a big deck and it's a nice yard too
22:36Yeah
22:37Historically my relationship with Kim has just been, you know
22:41talking every so often
22:43just usually via text
22:45Yeah
22:46So were you surprised when he told you he was moving back
22:48or moving here?
22:49Oh yeah, beyond surprised
22:50Yeah
22:51I was like shocked
22:52Yeah, yeah
22:55Did not expect that, that's for sure
22:57Yeah
22:57Not on my bingo card for the year, but
23:01He seems happy here
23:02I mean
23:03Being here today seems like he likes it
23:06Yeah
23:07So that's good
23:08Yeah
23:08I'm assuming you guys are friends and just friends
23:12Yeah, I would say we're, we're working our way to friends
23:15Okay
23:16I guess I'd say maybe like a step under that at the moment
23:19Okay
23:19Just because we don't really talk or hang out or anything anymore
23:22Okay
23:22So, yeah
23:27I mean I don't know everything
23:29Yeah
23:29I know a little bit of just things that happened
23:33I think the main thing was in our relationship
23:36I was prioritizing him
23:38and then I feel like he was also prioritizing himself
23:41and that we were both putting him first
23:44Yeah
23:44No one was putting me first
23:45Yeah
23:45The day we broke up, like the official day we broke up
23:48It was hard
23:50Tegan told me that Ethan
23:55left
23:57and didn't answer the phone
23:59and she went looking for him
24:01and he was
24:04gone for several hours
24:06so she just drove back to Wisconsin and broke up with him
24:09I can't blame her
24:12My guess is
24:14I feel like Ethan has a lot of baggage to work through after his first marriage
24:20Like I've told him, you know, what's meant to be, will be
24:24Yeah
24:24I've always had that mindset
24:25So, we'll see where things go in the future
24:28Yeah
24:29Ethan is definitely a unique person
24:32and
24:33And it is going to take somebody unique to know how to handle that and enjoy him
24:40I just think we needed it that time apart and that break for sure
24:44Yeah, yeah
24:45So he could work on himself so I could work on myself
24:48Yeah
24:48And see where it goes from there
24:50I feel like Tegan right now just wants to take it slow
24:53and
24:55I don't think she's going to be rushed into anything
24:58She wants to see
25:00that Ethan is
25:02going to be around for a while
25:04and that he
25:06she probably wants to see him be a little bit better at communicating
25:09It just
25:11I think that this break, you know, hopefully is helping him rediscover
25:17Yeah
25:18What's important and what's not
25:21Yeah
25:21And the distance was hard too on us
25:23Yeah, yeah
25:24But he's just not a really big phone guy
25:26Yeah, he's a horrible communicator
25:29And I don't know
25:31if all of this is helping him
25:33Yeah
25:33Like if he's going to learn to communicate with you
25:36because he wants to restore the relationship, you know
25:40Yeah
25:40I definitely sympathize with Tegan
25:43She needs more than just he is geographically in that area
25:47She needs to see some growth, some maturity, some communication skills
25:53Well, and I can tell you as a mom of boys
25:58that don't always make the best choices in women
26:05Basically
26:07I think Isaac got a good one when he found Kaelin
26:11Mm-hmm, I agree
26:12And Ethan got a good one when he found you
26:15Aw, you're so sweet
26:18Oh, that was really nice to hear
26:20because some boy moms are like, you know, my son could do nothing wrong ever
26:27So it was really nice to have that understanding from her
26:30and that, you know, that she does, she loves me for me, you know
26:34He's a grown man, he's got to figure out his stuff
26:42I forgot my wallet
26:44Aw
27:00Aw
27:00Oh, here comes the blood again
27:02My feet are tingling like crazy
27:05So today, Zach and I are at a wellness center
27:08and we're going to experience some things that I haven't experienced before
27:13such as compression machines
27:16and the inversion table
27:19There's a sauna there too
27:20I mean, I've done saunas before
27:21but this should be fun
27:24It's good to fill your brain with a ton of blood
27:28Yeah
27:28Yeah
27:28Maybe it's going to make me smarter
27:32Lydia and I just went to Montana with Isaac Kalin and Yember
27:36This was our first time in Montana with everybody
27:39So it was really nice
27:40Lydia, are you making a...
27:42Oh!
27:44It was a great trip, honestly
27:45Isaac and I actually went skiing and it was a great time, so
27:48I just got back, but Lydia actually flew to Wisconsin to meet up with Kim
27:53because Ethan's got his place ready, they're going to check it out
27:57and then Kim and Lydia will be driving back
27:59So is my face all red?
28:01It's almost the color of your hat
28:03Oh, cool!
28:04I've wanted to do this for a while
28:06because I'm a health nut
28:07I'm just trying to get more healthy
28:08because I'm heavier than I've ever been
28:12Barry, my legs have doubled in size
28:14So I get compression legs
28:17and...
28:17Looks like you've got chicken legs
28:20Don't worry, they're going to get bigger
28:22They're going to get smaller after they're compressed
28:24They're going to get water long
28:28All this vibrating is causing my butt to itch
28:31Of all things
28:32Oh my God
28:34Yeah
28:37So, at what point did Lydia decide, hey, I'm going to go over to Wisconsin
28:42because Kim was coming up
28:44Yeah, of all the people that probably could have helped Kim
28:47She's also the most adhered to long road trips
28:51So it'll be a good time for Kim and Lydia to talk too, right?
28:55Obviously it's 18 hours of driving, so...
28:58I don't know, you can probably only play the alphabet game so much
29:01and then you're going to be forced to talk
29:03I know, yeah
29:06Because has Lydia arrived at a better spot with Kim
29:08regarding everything that transpired at the wedding?
29:11She wants Kim to just be more emotionally involved
29:14Yeah
29:15She doesn't always just call her on the random
29:17She usually calls her to, like, get things done
29:20or it's not like, hey, how's my daughter doing?
29:23Mm-hmm
29:23There's been some emotional connections that I feel like Lydia has seen
29:29but also is still looking for, just in a mother period
29:35Yeah
29:35But yeah, I know how Kim is like that too
29:37She's not emotionally, like, engaged a lot
29:41Yeah
29:41I know Lydia and Kim are working on their relationship
29:44and I also, I guess you could say, have my reservations for Kim
29:51and just how she's kind of treated Lydia
29:55but I think, for the most part, we're gaining ground
30:01and starting to have more conversations, which I'm looking forward to, so...
30:05I can't imagine how to be emotionally engaged with some of the stuff that she's been through, so...
30:12Especially Joshua, right?
30:13Oh, yeah
30:14It's been 17 plus years since our son Joshua died in a terrible tragedy
30:20He was 17 months old
30:22It was a normal day and we were doing some yard work
30:27I pulled a vehicle forward
30:28I had just seen him, so I thought I was okay, but I pulled forward and I ran over him
30:33Yeah
30:35You know, I don't think she feels any, like, trauma in the here and now still from that
30:41Right
30:41But, I don't know, is there stuff just layered somewhere deep beneath the... the moment?
30:48Yeah
30:48That she still may need to process? I don't know
30:52Yeah
30:57I didn't really learn what it looked like to really talk about things in general
31:04A large piece of that was not talking about Joshua
31:08Publicly, Lydia gave lots of details of Joshua's death
31:11Things that I feel she doesn't have the place to say
31:30It's been a while since I've been in a sauna
31:35Oh, boy
31:36How much heat do we have?
31:40Everything burning up!
31:42I've inverted, jiggled, and compressed, and now it's time for the sauna and cold plunge
31:54I'm feeling it
31:55I'm feeling it
31:56I'm feeling it
31:57No, I'm not. I'm sweating the moon a bit
31:59Just kidding
32:03Well, hey, thanks for doing this with me
32:04Hey, maybe there'll come a future day where, you know, I have a date and then we can come here
32:10Yeah
32:11For sure
32:12Double date to the sauna
32:14There you go
32:16How's the dating world for Mr. Berry?
32:19Well, I mean, Renee's been great
32:21Renee, my matchmaker lady, is still hard at work trying to find someone for me
32:26I mean, I trust Renee
32:27I mean, she's been doing this for almost two decades, right? She knows her stuff
32:33So she provided me a number for a lady in Tennessee
32:36Okay
32:38And I called her and we talked for an hour
32:41The first one was, she was, she was fun
32:43Yeah
32:44She just really liked experiencing life and having fun
32:49There you go
32:49And then we got into this topic of celebrating, like, Halloween and stuff
32:55And I'm like, I just, I don't do Halloween there
32:59I just want somebody who gets Halloween like I get Halloween
33:02Yeah
33:03Right? Because it's like a non, it's a non-event day for me, yeah
33:07So, I'll just keep trying
33:09Yeah
33:10Sounds like he's getting good opportunities to just
33:13Step into the dating world again, obviously it's been a minute for him
33:16And so
33:20Interesting descriptor
33:21But yeah, I'm just glad to be a part of the process
33:24It can be complicated sometimes
33:26And
33:26You don't realize you're in the presence of the plat daddy
33:29Oh dear
33:31I will never call you that
33:34That's for sure
33:39If you can't stand the heat, get out of the sauna
33:55Did you see the bag the girls made for me for Christmas?
33:58Oh that's cute
33:59Yeah
34:00Yeah
34:00I flew up to Wisconsin from Montana to see Ethan, spend time with Mom and help her with the 18
34:07hour drive home
34:09It was good to see Ethan last night, his house is so cute
34:13That's the bathroom
34:16That's cute
34:17Here's my bed
34:19Seems about right
34:20Oh we have an in-ground fire pit
34:22He has a fireplace
34:28Lydia loves road trips and she's been wanting to spend more time with me so I asked her if she'd
34:32like to come on this road trip with me
34:34I'm excited about that, it's gonna be a fun like mother-daughter road trip
34:38Okay, you ready?
34:40I'm ready
34:42Also, it's a chance for us to spend some time together and have a chance to talk
34:47I have over 500 songs on my playlist
34:50I love every single one
34:52And I'm always frustrated that I never get to hear all of them
34:55Okay
34:58I have a picture to show you
35:00Something that Ken found in the barn
35:03What is that?
35:05Take a guess
35:06I'm confused because it looks weird but it looks like it has flowers on it
35:10So, you'll have to tell me
35:12Okay, that's called a bong
35:15It's used for smoking pot
35:19There's different ways to smoke pot
35:20You can, you know, roll it up like a little cigarette
35:24Also known as a doobie
35:25And smoke it like a cigarette
35:27Or, you know, the bong and there's water in there and you light it
35:31I don't know
35:32So, that was in the barn
35:35Okay
35:35It's not mine
35:37Mm-hmm
35:40I smoked pot like twice in college
35:42Just, you know
35:48I have a good on this subject
35:51Anyway, just a thought
35:52Okay
35:59I'm glad you didn't keep it up
36:01Yeah, no, no
36:04Some of the things that we have to talk about are a little bit tricky
36:15I miss Zach
36:17Aww
36:19Zach's a pretty good therapist
36:21Okay
36:23Not really
36:24Yeah
36:25But, you know, he's good to talk to
36:29Um, growing up, I didn't really learn what it looked like to really talk about things in general
36:39A large piece of that was not talking about Joshua
36:43Yeah
36:47I will say I heard bits where you talked about Joshua publicly
36:53Lydia went online and she was crying about Joshua, which is fine, totally understandable
37:00But then she starts, you know, sharing about how she wasn't equipped to deal with that
37:06I've had a lot of guilt that I've had to deal with and when I first heard Lydia talking about
37:12Joshua online
37:13It was like ripping open that wound for me all over again
37:16It's almost unbearable to even think about
37:28I will say I heard bits where you talked about Joshua publicly
37:34When I first heard what Lydia said about Joshua's death, my heart broke for her
37:39Just knowing, knowing that she's still hurting
37:44Yeah
37:45Joshua was one of our sons
37:48And he died at 17 months old in a really tragic accident
37:54Publicly, Lydia gave lots of details of Joshua's death
37:57Then she went on to speculate about his death and how it affected me
38:01How it affected Barry and I's marriage
38:03Things that I feel she doesn't have the place to say publicly
38:10I felt like you blamed me for not communicating about that part of it
38:16The intent was not pointing fingers
38:20I just needed him to be acknowledged and talk about his life
38:25I don't feel like you don't know how to communicate things
38:33You have so much going on in your world
38:35Yeah
38:35And what's in front of you that like, not that you forget about the others
38:39Yeah
38:39But they're just not in your forefront, so
38:41Yeah
38:44Right after Joshua died, I wasn't ready to talk to anybody about it
38:48It probably took about a year to, you know, be able to talk about it at all
38:54We've periodically go to the grave site and put little duckies on the grave or some flowers
39:02They're probably flowers you'd remember from the farm
39:05The thing that has been hard for me is just knowing how much I've hurt all of the other kids
39:12How much pain I've caused them
39:14And I...
39:17That's just hard
39:20I asked several other people, like friends of mine that heard it
39:25And they all said they thought that you implied that we didn't talk about it
39:29Because it was like in your hands
39:34And naturally would want to protect you from hearing anything else about it
39:41Yeah
39:41That type of thing
39:43I have thought about
39:47Talking about
39:48Joshua with my mom
39:50I just haven't had the strength to bring it up with her
39:54You know, yeah, Dad and I didn't give you the tools to deal with that
39:58But I mean, that's a hard thing to
40:00I don't think anyone has the tools
40:01I don't think anybody
40:02Well, I was gonna say, I don't think anybody can
40:04I still can't give you the tools to deal with it
40:07Yeah
40:09It's kinda sad to me that
40:13She's
40:14Opening up
40:17To the internet
40:20And not me
40:24I mean, this kind of
40:25Is a good picture of the gulf that separates us
40:31And I wanna fix that
40:41We're 11 people in the family
40:43We just need to accept everybody as best we can
40:49Lydia doesn't see a problem with them sitting people down and correcting them
40:53But when I talk to everybody else
40:55Yeah, it was
40:58So today
41:00I'm going on a blind date
41:04Hi
41:06Wow, that's a nice little thing
41:07Out in Montana, Zach would only talk to the girls when I was away
41:11He was telling them that Mariah shouldn't have this in her house
41:14She shouldn't have this playing
41:15They shouldn't listen to this kind of music
41:17I feel like the solution is
41:19We just all get together and
41:21Yeah, there's some things to talk about
41:23Well, it's a piece of room
41:23The back of us
41:23We just have a resource
41:23We can help
41:23The back of us
41:23Dr.